About Me

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Hello, I'm April. I'm a busy wife, mom, student, photographer, business women, and Teacher at church. Photographer April Morganroth. AAS in Digital Photography/Marketing from Phoenix College December 2013. BAS Commercial Photography/Marketing From Arizona State University's Polytechnic College of Technology and Innovation Due to Graduate December 2015. Concentration in commercial photography, marketing, self promotion. Possible internship with Eric Fairchild, Fender in house photographer. Phoenix Adventures Photographers Club Premium Member, and NPPA (National Press Photographers Association) Member, NWBOC (National Women Business Owners Corporation) Member, and Phi Theta Kappa Rho Pi Chapter Phoenix Division inductee on March 15th, 2013. Photography and Scrapbooking has always been "my thing". I'm very artistic. MomOgraphy.Photography@gmail.com

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Last Will and Testament

I am going to warn my readers now: This might not be for the faint of heart. It's a little darker than normal, and it's a little, well, out of left field. With the recent deaths I've had in my family, Mom, Best guy friend, Grandma (dad's step mom) and my Grandfather (Paw Paw aka Mom's dad), I just keep thinking about my inevitable death. Makes it hard to put death and all of that nonsince, pain, behind me when TV shows, news channels, news websites, etc all creep it back up in my view. The truth, we never get away from the grips of death. From the instant we are conceived we are doomed to die. It might not be in the next few months, years, decades, but at some point in life, we all have one thing in common, death. Now this is no new notion, this is not something we can forget, there is no way to stop it, because it's just how life is. We live to die. We live to age and eventually the bodies give out.

Now depending on what you believe in, well, depends on what happens to you after your physical body is dead. For me personally, I will go to be with my LORD. I'm not some holier than thou bible thumper, I'm not some pedestal sitting hoot and nanny, I'm just your average American Sinful Natured Women, who just seeks God's forgiveness, love, acceptance, Mercy, and Gift of Salvation. There is nothing remarkable about me, or my life. I'm your average plain Jane. And guess what, I'm okay with that.

Anyways, I'm veering from the topic of this post, which got me over here to type the darn thing to begin with!Death, dying, leads to a Last Will and Testament. Tonight's Episode of Bones, yes, that show, with David Boreanez, yes, I've had a crush on him since he first appeared in the 90's hit show Buffy. In any case, in tonight's episode, they were discussing their last Will and Testaments, how they want their last wishes to be full filled. My mother knew she was dying. She knew it before the rest of us caught onto it. I remember sitting at Hospice with my mom the Thursday before she passed away. I will never forget it. We were having a mother-daughter heart-to-heart talk. She was going on about how she wanted this or that at her funeral and how she didn't want this or that, and basically dictating everything to me. Yes, most of it sunk in. However, I didn't want to believe that my mom wasn't going to be here still, I have to be honest and admit I didn't exactly hear all of what she said. Disbelief, avoidance, and the inability to accept the inevitable held me back. Rightfully so, who wants to let their mom go? I do wish I had known that, that day would be the last day I got to see, hear (face to face anyways), touch, smell, kiss, hug, and talk (face to face) with my mom. I wish I had known, because I would have stayed a little longer, hugged a little tighter, and just crawled up in her lap and laid my head down for one last rest in her lap, while she twirled my hair around, smoothing it out. One last chance to be a little girl to my mommy.

I remember telling my mom, that she will fight through this. I did tell her that I wouldn't be mad if she felt she could not fight any longer. I do remember telling her that I didn't want her to go, and that I didn't think it was her time, because God just gave us Zechariah two months prior. That She couldn't possibly go making some memories with him first like she got to with Jayden. I was so totally blind with how my moms cheeks sank into her face, you could see her jaw outline. I was blind by the fact that my mom had not had a bowel movement on her own in months, because she had a bag that did that for her. I missed the fact that her skin was already dying and that it was turning yellow. Love goggles is what I call those. Mom wanted to protect me and my children from seeing her so sick. I kept trying to tell her, that it made no difference, that when I looked at her, I saw my mom. I saw her love, and her heart. I saw her, I did not see these things I over looked. I saw a women who walked the ends of the earth to get her children back, even if it was years later. I saw a women who would give the shirt off of her back if you needed it more, or popped up a tent in her yard so you had a place to lay your head down until she cleared out the guest room. I saw a women that was fiercely loyal, and loved unconditionally. I didn't see the sickness, I didn't see the fatality of her body. Plain and simple, I saw my mom, bubbly, loving, exciting, fun seeking, adventure taking, mom. Who I could call up at any time of the day, to tell her to take a bite out of some cookie dough with me. I saw a women who stood in my corner at the ready to "kick some butt" for harming me in any way.

Got me thinking, how are my children going to see me when I'm nearing the end of this life? I truly pray that they see the same strong mothering, passionate driven, and dedicated women that my mom was for me as I am to them. I might not always be right, but I try!

I plan on taping something for both kids along with writing them each a letter, but for now, if tomorrow was my last day, these are the words I would want my children to know from me:

Jayden and Zechariah:
 There's a country song sung by a man that was very popular when I was a child, one of my favorite singers all around, George Strait, who sings the Song, "Love without End." Traditionally it's a song sung from a father to his children. Talks about no matter what a father's love is without end. The two of you are much too young to get into any other theoretical meanings of the song, but the content I want you to know, is that a parents love is unmeasurable. That just like the song, your mama, me, loves you with no end. It doesn't matter where you go in life, what you do, that no matter how old you grow, you will always be my baby boys. My love for the two of you is so unconditional and so indescribable that will love you through and through. I will be in your corner when you need me to, I will teach you what needs to be taught, I will give you examples to follow, and lead you to better yourselves. I will never stop loving you, even when I'm hurt, angry, upset or sometimes disappointed in the things you do and say, I will never stop loving you.

Jayden, you are 29 months now, and boy oh by is 2 a difficult age sometimes, but you bring me so much joy! Joy that I can never imagine words significant enough to describe. You my boy, you are exactly half of your mommy and half of your daddy. You are so very smart, and so strong willed, and so goofy, that it makes me smile from ear to ear. I see you going so far in life, I can not wait to see the wonderful man you will become, but don't do it just yet. Mama wants you to be a kid, and have a good childhood filled with lots of love, laughter, magic and memories to carry on. You look like your mama, and you most certainly have my smarts, but your personality is all your dad. I see it with every smirk you plaster on your face, every goofy face you make, which are reasons I fell in love with your dad and reasons why I still love him and continue to fall in love with him today. Laughter is good medicine for the soul. You give me heaping doses of it. You are my little sensitive bug. You can sense things that I didn't even know were possible for a 2 year old to sense! You always know when mama needs a kiss, or a hug, or even some cuddles time. You just know when mama needs a reminder of the pure love between a mother and a son. If I leave you, just know one thing, remember one thing, that there will be girls in your life, they will come and go, and some will break your heart more than others, but just know, that as long as you are happy, I am happy. As long as you are loved and being treated well, then I am happy. Love like tomorrow will never come, like today is the last day, love without expecting anything back. Love unconditionally, and without cause, love because it's good for the soul. I love you Jay Bear, you will always be my little Jay Bear. I didn't know love until I met you the day you were born for the first time. As soon as you came out of mommy's tummy and you were placed on my chest, I fell so in love with you, a love like I've never had before in my life. You took my breath away, and still do so today. It's been amazing being your mom, it's been amazing watching you grow. I love how everything is made into a game with you, and how you love to play and laugh. Your laughter brings so much joy to my heart.

Zechariah, you are my little chunky 9 month old. You are such a stark contrast to your brother. You are generally calm, and quiet. I didn't know I could love another as much as I fell in love with your brother, but boy was I wrong, and thank goodness too! You bring such joy to my life. Your smile is killer, oh, I absolutely melt when you smile and laugh at me and with me. You know, that's your dads smile right there. That same smile took my breath away 13 years ago, and takes it away more when you smile. You are my strong child, I can tell. You are a solid rock baby boy, even when your brother bulldozes you down, you get right back up and keep on going. Same thing I told your brother about the girls, I will be happy if you are happy. No matter what. You make being a mom so easy, and so enjoyable. You will always be my Chunky bear. Your smile lights up my world.

My two precious boys, I can not imagine life without you, I would not change it for the world. My three boys, the three of you Scott, Jayden, Zechariah complete me. You bring the best out in me, and make me want to work harder for the best things in life, so I can help give those to you. You make me want to give you the world on a silver platter. You make me a better person.

If I were to be gone tomorrow, I would want my life celebrated. I would want to remembered by the unconditional love I aim at giving. I would want to be remembered by working hard, and by never giving up on my dreams, and passions. No, was never an answer I stuck to. If I wanted it, I went for it. Life was not good to me when I was younger, it kept knocking me back down, but I kept getting back up stronger and better than before. That is what I want to teach about life, and what I want to remembered for doing.

I would want a simply, SIMPLE service. Ask your daddy, I'm not really into this over the top extravagant to do thing. I want everyone to wear Green. The color of life, the color of Love. My favorite color is Green. Songs I would want played at my service are: "Going down in a Blaze of Glory", "Two Sparrows in a Hurricane", "Love without End, Amen", "She's Everything", "I Hope You Dance" and "Somebody's Hero".

I hope I am your super hero in life, the one that comes to your aid and kisses your boo boo's away, figuratively and metaphorically. I want to be there to help you back up every time you fall, to be in your corner rooting for you, and for you to know, that no matter what, I am always here for you.

I love you baby boys, with the entirety of my heart and soul. I love you. My moto is: "Live life to the fullest, laugh often and always, and love like there is no tomorrow."

My warmest Love,
Mommy
AKA
April M. Morganroth

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Chasing the Dream....

Does life ever feel stale? Like you are in a stall and can't get out into the next gear? I have to be honest that I often feel this way. Even more so lately than normal. I left my job after having my second child to be a full time stay at home mother. I wouldn't change what I do, I love being a mother, my children are my pride and joy. Truly the center of my happiness is derived from watching them grow. Our larger than life, lifestyle has changed a great deal with me leaving the work force to stay home with the kids.The costs, all of them not just monetary costs, did not compensate enough to keep me in the work force now that we had two rapidly growing children. There were other factors such as firsts, and future endeavors like little league, scouts, etc that I want to be a part of with my children. I feel that it is extremely important to support your children in their extra circular activities. I don't want to miss a single meet, or event, or if they are in band, and or drama club, I don't want to miss a performance. I want to be in the action with them. Yes, I know, this may sound selfish and over barring to some, but coming from someone who buried herself in every extra circular I could think of I wish that someone who loved me was there in the audience or to cheer me on. No matter how hard I tried, I never saw a familiar face in the crowds who were there to love and support me, win or lose. It hurt me greatly, so as a mother, I vow to always be in the crowds, to be their number one fan and supporter. I want to celebrate their wins with them, and support them through their losses, to teach them the poised way of losing, and to win another day. To be frank, this has always been my general out look on life. Sure, I lost some battles, but take a look at my life and all around me, I won the war, don't you think?

Against great odds, and of course many obstacles, in the end, I got everything I have ever wanted. I got to take the last name of the man I have loved ever since I laid eyes on him. I got to birth two beautiful children for him. We have a good home, and plenty of "toys" to go around to the 4 of us. We don't live outside of our means, but we do make do with what we have. We have worked hard for a very long time to get to this point in life. It has been such an up hill battle, that now I am here, and it seems almost too easy.

If I were to pen my life in a novel I'm sure it would be the next great American Pulitzer Novel that I'm sure many wouldn't think could be an ounce of truth. By the age of 10 I had seen and been through things that many 30 year old's would never even dream of going through. Someone, I managed to break the mold ever so slightly and take a different beaten path in life, than what I was doomed to walk before I was ever even born. I take pride in that, not because it's a pride thing, but because of the hard work and dedication I put into breaking those chains. It was not easy. Yes, I failed at different stops along the way, but that's the beauty of it all. I didn't just sit and walk back to give up, no, I picked the pieces up and I walked onward, not giving up. Some say that, that is my downfall, not knowing when to give up. I say it's my strength.

When I decided to go back to college to get my degree in Photography to better represent my photography business that I was just starting out, I had no idea the resulting impact it would have on my life. Photography has always been a deeply rooted part of me. Something I did as a hobby and past time to save cherished memories. This was something I kept mostly to myself, and did not really share with anyone, because it was my one escape from the traumatizing world and life I was dealt.

My mom actually pushed me into going back to school for my Photography degree. I thought it was sort of a useless degree, I mean, really how is an art degree suppose to enhance my life? Truth is, it's so much more than just a simple art degree. It's discovering myself, defining myself, and expressing myself. I've fallen smitten with photography in a much deeper since.

Sometimes, I just feel as if I'm spinning my wheels for nothing though. That no matter how hard and how much I work to achieve my dream of being a successful photographer, it's just out of my finger tips reach. I don't know if I will ever gain the respect, notoriety and clientele to have a successful business.  I hope to some day. I will not stop until I do so. Like when I was a child, I know I will break my way through, it's only a matter of time and will power. I'm confident in that and of myself. My main obstacle if I really sit down and pen it, is, myself. Sometimes, I don't give myself enough credit. I still revert back to that same broken, and beaten down girl I was growing up. I still see flashes of my grandmother telling me, that I will amount to nothing in life, that I will be a whore, and I have no discipline. I still see distant memories of being told that I am a nobody and that no one could ever love me.

The way I see it, I didn't get this far in life by no one not loving me. I got this far in life, because some body did love me. A lot of some bodies loved me. So much so, they were there to support me and help me stand back up time and time again.

I'm chasing the dream, and I don't know when I will achieve it, but I know I will. I have achieved every other dream I set out to get. When I start to doubt myself, it makes me work that much harder. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but it seems to be working, and that's what counts.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Savings Pointers from a Savvy Shopping Mommy

I have decided that I am going to do some experimenting with my savings some more to see where we will reap the greatest savings. I save Scott, myself and our family a lot of money with my savvy shopping knowledge. I have pin pointed things down almost to an art form with a science behind it. It is now easy for me to go into the grocery store with my ads and coupons; get $700 in groceries and pay no more than $220. I am working on learning the different rewards programs from the different grocers to see where the biggest benefit and best savings in the long run is.


First I'm going to give tips on things that have HELPED me save thus far. Then I am going to do some research on these programs that many different grocers offer, and then devise a plan to see what my overall benefit and savings would be.


Tips on Saving Money while Grocery Shopping:
  1. Best night to grocery shop is Wednesday late night, after 9pm for 24 hour grocers, or 2 hours before closing for other grocers. The reason is because MOST grocery stores have their ads, ready and in your mail box my Tuesday's. The new sale starts/ends on Wednesday's. MOST, not all, and not in every region, grocery stores will honor previous and new weeks ads on Wednesday's. Additionally MOST grocery stores receive their weekly replenish shipment late Tuesday nights, and want to fastly sell their older items, and that's when they know IF they have MORE meat/produce etc than planned going into their new week. IF you can not make Wednesday night work out, Wednesday anytime is almost just as good for savings and quality combined.
    1. Another good reason to grocery shop on Wednesday is aside from the caliber of coupons you get in the Sunday newspaper, you also get a good caliber of coupons in the Wednesday paper.
    2. THE WORST three times to grocery shop are: Tuesday, Thursday, and no surprise Sunday's.
  2. ASK your local produce/meat/dairy workers in the grocery store if they have meat/produce/dairy near expiration that they can still sell you. You wont believe the sales you can get. Again the best night to do this is Wednesday nights. AS LONG as the meat/dairy is FROZEN it will remain good up to 4 weeks passed PRINTED sale by/expiration date. The sale by/expiration date on packages are NOT the actual expiration of the meat. The meat companies especially will often move this date up anywhere from 2-6 weeks to sale it faster, and to stay with in FDA compliance and guidelines.
  3. ALWAYS GO WITH A LIST! DO NOT EVER EVER just "WING IT". NEVER. Cardinal rule for spending almost 3 times as much is just "winging it". (Later in this blog entry I will run down how I do it for optimal savings.)
  4. Prior to making your grocery list, go through and make a weekly/monthly menu. (Base this upon how you would grocery shop. YOU WILL SAVE MORE if you grocery shop WEEKLY. I will go more in detail about this later on in this blog). Ie: Monday: Sloppy Joes with Carrots, Tuesday: Spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread, etc.
  5. NEVER go hungry. This will cut down on impulse buying and snack over compensation. I will make sure to go AFTER we have eaten dinner, let it settle, which is just long enough for me to bathe both boys, get them settled in and ready for bed. That way I can leave them home with daddy, or grandpa.
  6. Elevate ANY and ALL distractions. If a grandparent is not available to watch our boys, then I will leave them home with daddy, so I can go in peace and with out interruption. I have PERSONALLY done a few experiments with this. Every time the result was I paid less, got better food selections and food lasted longer.
  7. Make a weekly budget along with your monthly budget and DO NOT GO OVER. Not even one penny.
  8. On your list that you have compiled (The details of the complied list will be below), keep a running total of what you SHOULD have spent, vs what you are ACTUALLY spending. (This is for price matching and couponing reasons. This is where you will be able to see your savings).
  9. Make a grocery list and keep it on your fridge. When you run out of things, IMMEDIATELY put it on your list. Do not chance your memory to recall it when it comes down to make  your master list.
  10. Make a master pantry list. Include on your list how many of each item you like or would like to stay stocked up on. For example: 12 boxes of Mac and Cheese, 12 cans of tuna, 20 cans of soup, etc. (feel free to break the soup down into chicken noodle, tomato, etc). ALWAYS stay stocked up on dry and can goods. Especially veggies, they make for fast easy side dishes in a pinch, or when produce is wildly expensive.
  11. Keep stocked up on fast and easy meals, such as spaghetti, mac and cheese, hot dogs, hamburgers, etc.
  12. Cut meat out of two-three dinners a week. Try Breakfast for dinner (non meat, so omelets, pancakes, hash browns etc), spaghetti, stirfry, etc.
  13. TAKE YOUR LUNCH TO WORK! There is really no excuse to not to when, you can get bread for 4 loafs for $5 or tv dinners 10 for $10, or even left overs. You SAVE $$$$$ in the long run. Think about it. With a loaf of bread you have a sandwich for every day, for 1.50. You spend easily $5 or more if you eat out during lunch at work.
  14. Cook and freeze. Ie Lasagnas, casseroles, pastas, much of it will keep very well when you freeze it. Do this on a day off to make cooking dinner on late days at work easy.
  15. Try a variety of crock pot dinners.
  16. COUPON, every little penny counts. Just be aware that not ALL coupons will be used, and Not ALL coupons will be the BEST deal.
  17. No matter what BUY THE BETTER DEAL. There are MANY different apps for these smart phones that will compare prices with values, and quantities that will easily tell you which one is the BEST value in the long run. DO not be afraid to TRY at least TRY the store brands.
  18. AD/PRICE match. EVERY STORE THAT SALES grocery items. You will need to contact your local grocery stores in order to learn which ones do ad/price match and which ones do not, and what their local policy is on it. You will be surprised the vast differences, even in same states. For example, the Walmart in South Avondale, will not PRICE match unless it's in the ad, the Walmart in South Glendale will price and ad match as long as it is verifiable. Both are in West Phoenix.
  19. Avoid "quick" runs and "short lists" to the grocery store. Ie, the "I've run out of  milk and eggs, and I need to just run in for a second..." runs. They never turn out to be "quick" runs, you almost always end up getting 5-10 times more than expected, and it's never worth it, because you will spend on average 6x's more.
  20. BUY IN bulk when the price per unit item is always a better deal! BE CAREFUL, don't get stuck in this rut or you will MISS other savings sometimes. For example: I buy my son's huggies diapers (Because they have a rewards program) at Costco. I was buying the Kirkland (Coscto brand) diapers because they were the better deal at first. THEN huggies changed their packaging to where their bulk boxes were the same amount of diapers, for the same price, and Costco often has a $5 off coupon once a month. Hints why it's the better deal in the long run. However, recently I have been experimenting with other scenarios. Once every 3 months it is in my better interest to buy my diapers at Kmart. I get three packages there, equalling the SAME number of diapers I get at Costco for the SAME price, BUT KMART pays me 2% back on my shop your way rewards program for buying those diapers, AND they will more times than not give me a bonus coupon that gives me $5-$10 back in shop my way rewards when I spend over $25. SO to make it worth my while. I buy two packages totalling $26 of my oldest sons diapers in one transaction, then two packages totalling $26 of my youngest sons diapers in a second transaction, and then in a third transaction I will buy one package of my older sons diapers and one of my younger sons diapers. Now I have the SAME amount of diapers I would NORMALLY have gotten from costco, for the same price (assuming I used the $5 off coupon), and I got anywhere from $15-$30 (Depending on what coupon I've gotten from previous transactions) in rewards money back PLUS 2% per transaction. So when you sit down and think about it, I have now made back half of what I spent. I then will take that money and buy other things I need, OR (More times than not) save my rewards money for Birthday and/or Christmas shopping for my boys. So you see if I got stuck in my rut of buying only from costco I would have missed out on this savings, bonus money.
  21. It may sound like a give me, but it is harder than you think. WATCH the register and watch as each item is rung in. Remember how you are suppose to write the price down on your list as you gather it through the store? Well often times (more than grocery stores are willing to admit it) the price it rings for is HIGHER than the price it says on the shelf. Most don't even look at this or notice it. IF a cashier is going to fast, which they are trained to do so, you CAN CAN CAN CAN CAN CAN ask them to SLOW down and VERIFY EACH price with you. Some will grumble at this, BUT you will lose money if you do not watch it. This is especially IMPORTANT if you are price/ad matching as well.
  22. COMPARISON shop. This is where it is important to look at a 4oz of bbq sauce for 2.99 and compare it to a 6oz of bbq sauce for 5.29 and compare what the better deal is. Remember you want to know how much it will costs you PER OUNCE (in this case) for the 4oz bottle and the 6oz bottle given the prices. Either using a smart phone app, or quick math you can get this. Long math would be 2.99/4oz=.75 cents per ounce and 5.29/6oz=.88 cents per ounce. So in THIS case the BETTER deal is the 4 oz bottle. So buy 2 of them for .69cents more for 2 ozs more. NOW add in a coupon for .75 off a 6oz bottle. So take your 5.29-.75=(4.54/6oz)=.76 cents per ounce.  So is the 4oz or the 6oz the better deal? Even with the coupon the 4oz is still a better deal in the long run over the slightly lowered price of the 6oz and coupon. See where even one penny can MAKE a huge difference?
  23. Plan out your month so you are not stocking up on the same items every grocery trip. This you will have to figure out based on your local market. For example: I have personally found that it is best to do my regular grocery shopping items the first week of the month, my produce and dairy the second week of the month, my meat the third week of the month, and my bulk items the last week of the month. Each market is different.
  24. Consider using different stores for different reasons. For example: my regular grocery shopping week I use Walmart to ad/price match, my produce/dairy week I typically use Frys (almost always a better deal, not always the case, so keep up with the ads and trends), my meats I typically get at Albertsons the third week during their buy one get two free deals, if they do not have this deal, I will price/ad match at walmart, and my bulk is done at costco.
  25. When you come across an unbeatable deal, do not be afraid to stock up on it (with in reason), just make sure to adjust budget as needed, or buy less of other items in budget. IE: 4 months ago Costco had Huggies diapers on sale for 21.99 for large bulk box (normally 39.99) and a $5 off coupon. In this case, it is MORE than okay to stock up and take from another budget, just REMEMBER to do this in your budget book. IF you have no wiggle room from another budget, then resort to savings. BUT ONLY if it's a deal that you CAN not pass up.
  26. Grocery stores STILL HONOR RAIN CHECKS! IF they are OUT of something, ASK for a rain check. Don't be shy, ask for one!
  27. Stick to your lists.
  28. Use store savings cards/ rewards programs, etc.
  29. Substitute some of your drinks for water. Start with substituting one drink for water a day.
  30. If you know your grocery well enough, you will see even more savings when you create your grocery lists by grocery aisle.
  31. Try to limit eating out to either or/and once a week such as after Church on Sunday as a family, or a special family treat. (This does not include a once a month nice dinner out with your spouse. Just the two of you, make sure to budget that in for your monthly budget as well.)
  32. Use a calendar to remind you of important savings, etc, and when it is the better time to buy what in your local market.




Here is my work flow each week.
First my "Master Pantry List": (these are items that last long, you can buy in bulk when you find sales and stock up on that serve also for fast easy meals, for example on occasion I am low on food I can make what I call a dry beef stew. I use hamburger meat, brown in, and then cook a variety of canned veggies, and then mix it all together. Sometimes I will throw the meat into the pasta noodles, or mac and cheese, or even the veggies in these. When these items are on a unbeatable sale is when I stock up. OFTEN if the sale is good enough and I am still within budget I will stock past these qualities. BUT as a rule of thumb I always keep these quantities on hand and in mind when I go through ads and make my list. So in a sense they are always on my list, I may not always BUY them, but I can check the prices and see if there is a better special that week or not.)
  • 15 cans each of each veggie we like. (ie: 10 cans of carrots, 10 cans of corn, 10 cans of green beans, etc) (I almost ALWAYS get these when they are 3 for $1 at Frys once every two months. This is when knowing your market will come in handy. Took me six months to figure this one out.
  • 20 cans of Tuna. (Also almost always get these when they are 5 for $1 or cheaper. Again seems to only happen once every other month. I know if I see this deal I need to stock up, I also know that if there is a better deal than this, then I need to stock up on the better deal.)
  • 20 boxes of mac and cheese
  • 20 boxes of rice a roni
  • 5 boxes/bags of spaghetti noodles.
  • 2 jars of spaghetti sauce, 2 jars of Alfredo sauce, 2 cans of tomato paste/sauce
  • 30 cans of soup (10 chicken noodle, 10 assorted cream of..... and 10 any other combo variations)
  • Assorted assortments of baked goods. I typically like to keep 20 boxes of baked goods. There is no rhyme or reason. However I do like to keep a variety of muffin mix, bread mixes, and some cookie mixes.
  • 3 boxes of oatmeal
  • 4 boxes of cereal
  • 1 large container of gold fish
  • 1 large container of animal crackers
  • 1 large bulk box of graham crackers
  • 1 large bulk box of assorted snack crackers
  • 3 large boxes of Bisquick/pancake mix
  • 10 lb bag of sugar (in a container that is ant/bug proof)
  • 50 lb of dog food also in an ant/bug proof container
  • 2-3 loafs of bread
  • 3 18plus ozs of peanut butter jars (typically one crunchy for myself and two creamy for Jayden and Scott)
  • Hot dog and Hamburger buns
  • Bagels
  • 1 package of unopened tortillas (Corn tortillas are cheaper and healthier)
  • 40 cans of assorted beans (this includes black beans, pinto beans, baked beans, refried beans, red beans and at least 2 cans of chili beans)
  • 10 cans of manwich
  • 30 cans assorted spaghetti o's and ravioli's
  • 10 boxes of jiffy corn bread mix
  • 3 cans of shake and bake mix or 5 boxes of shake and bake mix (depends on which one was the better deal when I last shopped for them)
  • 2 64oz or more shelf stable apple juice's
  • 1 24 pack of Pepsi and 1 24 pack of Dr Pepper (In addition to whats chilled in the fridge
  • 1 back up of the following shelf stable bbq sauce, ranch, mayo, ketcup, mustard and salsa (if I haven't made my own salsa that month which is cheaper. Also making your own ranch is cheaper too.)
  • 10 packages of taco seasoning


I have a master freezer and fridge check list as well. Items such as butter, sour cream, etc are on there. (I can provide my lists if requested. I only provided my pantry lists above to give you the idea, and so you can get the complete picture that I include everything. My TOTALS are based off of what my family will eat and how often they will. Jayden loves his raviolis for lunch or corn dogs, and chicken nuggets, so my list will have more than most of those items. You have to amend it to fit your family needs).






(THESE NEXT LISTS ARE EXAMPLES AND NOT ACTUAL just because I have not done my list for this week as of yet, but it will give you the idea of how my work flow goes)


My refrigerator list (the things we are out of or low on):
Ketcup
Mustard
Salt
Garlic salt
pepper
bbq sauce
ranch
chicken
seasoning rubs for pork, chicken




My meal plan for the week:
Monday: sloppy joes with steamed veggies
Tuesday: Taco night (with mexi rice and beans w/cheese
Wednesday: bbq pork ribs in crock pot
Thursday: Spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread
Friday: Crock pot lasagna
Saturday: Hamburgers and Fries
Sunday: Breakfast for dinner (pancakes, omelets, and breakfast burritos)






My Weekly ads for price matching: (Main thing to remember making this list is to INCLUDE all details, because it saves you time from having to hunt it down in the ad, and it's faster to look for this item, and compare it to other similar items to find the best deal) (I normally do this in alphabet order but because I'm not doing this based off of an ad, just giving an example it's not alphabetized.)


Frys:
10oz kraft bbq sauce 3.99 w/coupon .50/off on 10oz kraft bbq sauce
Bananas .58/lb when you buy 2lbs
Hidden Valley Ranch 20oz bottle 10.99/bottle w/ 1.00 off coupon
etc
etc
etc


Food City:
Bone in chicken breasts .48/lb
Tyson chicken nuggets 5oz bag 2.99 w/coupon 1.00 off.
etc
etc
etc


Albertsons:
buy one assorted package of pork chops at 1.99/lb get two of equal or lesser value for free (MOST places will NOT price match a bogo UNLESS their is a unit price on the ad).
Hidden Valley 10oz bottle of Ranch 5.99/bottle w/coupon .45off (I typically make sure the coupon matches or is with in parameters of ad if I'm going to include it on the lists, more times than not, the ad will say Hidden Valley 7-10oz bottle of Ranch 5.99 and the coupon will often say Hidden Valley 8oz bottle of Ranch .45 off).


I then will go through my matching ad and strike out things that are similar and figure out which one is the better value.


For example: I found two stores that have Hidden Valley Ranch in their ad, I now need to figure out WHICH one is the better deal, and if the coupons fall with in the parameters. Lets just say the coupons are good with what the ad is advertising. So at Fry's it is .50 cents per ounce using the coupon and ad match. At Albertsons it is .69 cents per ounce with the coupon and ad match. So that makes the one at Frys a better deal in the long run. You are paying .19 cents less per ounce by ad matching to Frys and using the coupon.


You would then go through the list and do the same with all like items.


Then you combine your final lists into one master list, but make sure to do it according to aisle at the store. It should look like this (Mind you mine is not by aisle at the store, just going off of the example)


Hidden Valley Ranch 10 oz bottle 5.99 @ Albertsons w/ .45 off coupon
Bone in Chicken breasts .48/lb @ Food City
etc
etc
etc
(Make sure to check the ad for things already ON your lists: your master on hand lists, your out of/low lists, and your weekly meal plan lists and include them on your master lists, EVEN if you do not find them on the ads. MAKE SURE to compare all like items at the store for the best over all price in the long run.) Don't forget to write the price that the store has it at next to the item so you can calculate your savings afterwards. Keep in mind that you wont use every item you have selected to price match, because you will still compare every item to other like items to find the best value in the long run.


Now take these SAME pointers and apply them to everything else, like hygiene items, bulk items, cleaning items, etc. Your weekly ads will ALSO have these items in them as well. Get to know sales and trends of these items in your local area.


Now as far as couponing goes, I make it simple. I only clip what I WILL use. I only get two Wednesday papers from the dollar store EARLY wednesday morning before anyone can steal the coupons and before the papers are gone, as well as I get two Sunday papers EARLY Sunday mornings. I clip my coupons Sunday nights, after my family has gone to bed. I will check my master lists Monday nights after my family goes to bed, and on Tuesday nights I make my lists, and prepare to do my grocery shopping Wednesday nights.  ETA: I also use whatever coupons I can get in my mailbox each week through savvy shopper inserts and red plum inserts. If I'm feeling particularly squarely I will check out couponsuzy.com


I hope this helps! Ask me for clarification. Just remember you will have to also put in the leg work and figure out your budget, what works for your family, your local market trends/sales, what coupons work/do not work for your family, etc. These are just POINTERS and Guidelines.


Let me know if I can help you!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

After the dust has settled, after the visitors have come left frozen dinners for what seems like a month, and left, the loneliness is defining.

So many anxieties, so much I want to talk to you about. So many random things I want to text you just like we always have done.

An hour after I text you or call you is no big deal, there were many times you would wait to call or text me back hours later. A ay even is not that big of a deal. But several days with no reply text, it sinks in a little more. There will be no more replies, no more call backs.

I wanted to tell you today that when I test my blood pressure this morning before leaving for church that it was the lowest it has been in a LONG time. Then I remembered, you can't text me back from where you are.

Then as the day progressed and I started my mental list prep for the following day as I always do. I wanted to talk to you about my anxiety over Zechariah's appointment tomorrow. I wonder if I could at least send you a post card? Or how about Morris code? Does that work too?

I could NEVER replace you mom, but I don't know how I will ever find someone that understands me and gets me the way you do. Who can communicate with me the way you did. Who will let me vent and talk randomly too. Oh mom, I know your spirit would still be here fighting to the bloody end, but your body was not strong enough. I keep finding myself wanting to ask God why he didn't take me instead. But I know you would be ticked off at me, since Jay and Zech need me, and it would hurt them so much not to have their mama in their lives.

Guess you don't stop needing your mama. Today I can't seem to stop thinking and tearing up. I promise you I will keep updating you about the boys as much as I can. I know you can see what's going on, but I will promise to update you about them. Mom they love you so much. Jayden made me so mad today, but when he saw a picture of you and kept going "gma, where gma?" I almost doubled over in pain. I just don't have the heart to tell him that Grandma isn't coming back, that we can't visit her anymore. I just don't have it in me. How do I break his little heart? How can he understand? For right now I told him that Grandma was just taking a REALLY long nap because she is so tired. I don't know what else to tell him.

I miss you mom. I just miss you so much, my heart hurts so bad. I just can't control the tears leaving my eyes. I try so hard to hold them back, and sometimes I lose. I love you momma.

Friday, July 13, 2012

My Final Letter to My Mom.

This was my final letter to my Mom for her Memorial Service on Friday the 13th.

Dear Mom,

I bet everyone is expecting me to say something profound, and moving about who my mother was and what she meant to me. Truth be told I don't think I have anything profound to say. What I do have to speak about is an unmeasurable love, and an unbreakable bond.

Although my life with my mother was less than ideal, it was no less meaningful, and memorable. Even through the hardships, the pain, and the tears, my mother was in some way always with us, even if it was at heart.

Today my mother does not want us to mourn her death, but she wants us to celebrate her life, she used to always tell me that funerals and memorials were for the living to grieve and come together as family to celebrate life. Today, Friday the 13th, is suiting. It was a Friday the 13th she was born on. All good things happened to her on Friday the 13th, which she passed down to me. I met my husband on Friday the 13th, among many other wondrous joys. It's suiting that we celebrate her life on a Friday the 13th. Today is about my mother, and her incredible journey, her unmeasurable love and her stubborn strength.

Everything I did in life, from childhood to adulthood into wifehood and motherhood I did to avoid the mistakes my parents made. I worked so hard to change the cycle of life I had been dealt. I did not want to be anything like my parents, or other family members. I did not want my children to endure the same hardships and pain I had to endure. I meticulously and methodically went out of my way to change the course of my life so that my children would one day have a better life than I did. I realized about this time last year when I was talking to my mom on the phone, that outside of different life decisions, I was exactly like my parents in almost every way. Which I realized was not a bad thing. I had their strong love and heart with a desire to help and serve others. I had my mother's undeniable stubbornness, that meant when I made my decision I more than stuck to it; just as she would I would get passionate about my decision and make sure I got what I wanted and decided on. I had their strong work ethic. I was more like my parents than I wanted to admit. Looking back on it now, I see that I made my mother proud of the women, mother and wife I have become.

In life I never gave my mother enough credit for these gifts she passed onto me, which breaks my heart in more ways than I can scribe. I stand here and I choke when I remember thinking to myself about all of the times I was angry, frustrated and upset with my mom for keeping the entire truth of her condition from me; even though she was SO honest and forth coming with everything else. She would confide in her husband, in my husband, and in my mother in law, especially during the LONG labors I had with both of my sons. Although I wanted my mom at both births so excruciating much, I knew my mom was not doing well and told her to rest and she could come when they were born, or we could take them to see her, what ever she wanted. But she insisted that she be with me when I gave birth to them, because she knew how much her presence comforted me, and how I fed off of her strength to push through the contractions and bring the boys into the world. My mother in law, and mom created a bond, one not found in many families. Who could have imagined? I was and still am so very thankful that my mother had my mother in law to turn to. I still however, could just not understand why my mother would not confide in me, and tell me every detail of her condition.

The day after we had Zech, and we were released from the hospital, we went and had dinner, and picked up Jayden from my mother and father in laws house, we went back to my hospital, where my mom was admitted into the night I was in labor there with Zech, to see her. Let her see, hold and touch her new grandbaby, and love on her older grandbaby. She had gone out of her way to make sure Jayden had a big brother present, it's one of his favorites, a gift I wouldn't think of giving, but my wise mother knew better than me, because guess what? It's one of his favorite toys to play with. He loves hooking the horse trailer with the horse inside up to the truck and make beep beep sounds with it as he drives it all over the house. Looking at my mother overfilled with such love, adoration, and affection over my new son, and Jayden, it suddenly occurred to me. I didn't NEED to know the truth. I didn't need to know because I was her child, and she was my mother. She was doing to me, what I do to my boys. She was protecting me from harm, hurt, and pain. She knew I had been through so much of it in my life, and now that I was finally happy with a family of my own, she was protecting me from the ugly truth. The truth that her days were dwindling down faster than I could blink. I am constantly telling Jayden, "No, no Jay, that's hot," or "Get back Jay, this is ouchie", and kissing his boo boos. In the very same way my mom was telling me, "No April, this will hurt you" by not telling me the truth.

See parents are suppose to be our super heroes. They are suppose to be strong, and not ever be weak. They are suppose to help heal our broken hearts, and mend our brokenness. It suddenly clicked to me that my mom, my super hero, was protecting me from even more pain than I needed to endure. I am just like her, I am protecting my boys from enduring pain they can't even understand.

My step dad and my husband can sit there compare notes on who is more stubborn. If my mother or I are passionate about it, we are stubborn about it. Her and I would stand our grounds to the death of us. The Monday before she passed, we had a heart to heart talk. She was so scared of leaving her children, grandchildren and husband. She didn't want to leave us behind. She especially felt terrible leaving Jayden and Zechariah behind. She loved her grandbabies MORE than anything in this world. They were her pride, and she was a very proud grandma. She showed them off every chance she got, and she squeezed out enough energy for them when she had nothing left to squeeze. She was so torn up about leaving them behind, not being able to physically be here and watch them grow up, and them not being able to have their own memories of her. I told her that I was so proud of her, and how hard she fought. That I loved her so much, and could never and would never be mad at her if she felt like she just couldn't fight anymore. I told her that the boys would always know her, and always remember her, that I would talk about her as much as I could, and that we had SO many wonderful memories to share with them, and pictures to show them. I told her to remember my house, and the walls of my house plastered with photos, that there was no way they could ever forget their grandma. I told her how thankful I was that she proved the doctors wrong when they told her she wouldn't even live long enough to see Jayden born. Not only did she live long enough to see Jayden born, she lived long enough to see Zechariah born. She wanted to know how I was doing post pardum, and I told her that I had no issues, she smiled, I know she was concerned with that, because we had many talks about it, especially since Zechariah gave me so many issues at the end. These two little boys were her proudest achievements. Being a grandma made her entire world that much better and bearable. She lived to spoil them rotten.

She knew it drove me crazy to sneak Jay ice cream, cookies,cake, and basically anything h was not suppose to have,but she loved every moment of it, because she got to spoil him, and drive me crazy. I still don't know what gave her more of a thrill, spoiling the child, or driving the mama crazy. She also lived to support, spoil, and love her three children. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for one of the three of us. IF she had to crawl every inch of tis planet for us, she would and then some. She took us in when we had no where else and no one else to go to, she helped us when we were left to figure things out on our own, and could not. She loved us when we were unlovable. These are the things only a super hero could do; only a mother could do. It is her unconditional love that makes me be a better mother to my boys and a better wife to my husband. She was my best friend. I was always able to come to her with my issues, and problems. She would left me vent, cry, yell, or whatever else I needed. She never judged me, loved me any less, or loved the person, mostly my husband who drives me nuts, any less either. At the end of our conversations she would say, "Okay, now what are you going to do, to make things better?" She used to always tell me, "April, don't do anything stupid to lose that man of yours, he's a good man. He takes good care of you. You don't have to like him that day, but you have to love him." We had these looks we could give each other that said EVERYTHING. Even if we were not face to face my mother would know I was giving her the look, because she said she heard it in my voice. Sometimes I would try and cover up what I was thinking or wanting to say, and she would get mad at me. She used to say, "If you don't tell me I can't give you advice. And if you don't want my advice, then don't ask for it, but your voice is asking for it, so knock it off, and spill it out already." I lost the only person that I could communicate like that to, without judgement, ridicule, or backlash. Once everything was said, that was it. She never brought it up again. I can only pray to aspire to become a mother like that, where my boys could openingly come to me about anything, and I just love them, and push them on their merry little way. She set a high bar for me to achieve, and I intend to achieve it.

Mom stayed and fought long enough to see that we were all going to be just fine. She made sure that I could handle being a mother times 2. She made sure to teach us something every time we talked. She made sure that I had the love and support of an incredible man, who came with an equally incredible family. She left knowing that the boys still had a grandma left to spoil them rotten, to help her daughter and be there for her, and in her own words, "To love her as if she was yours." My mom wasn't going to leave until she knew my ever wish came true, which was to have the strong family dynamic I never got to enjoy, but my boys would. She left knowing that I got my very wish, and that Jayden and Zechariah were more than abundantly loved. She knew they would never feel even once ounce of the pain I did growing up. That brought her great comfort, more than words could express.

My mother gave me a last gift in her final week and days. We confided in one another and made some promises, that will always be kept. I will love my boys unconditionally, without judgement and without reprieve just as she loved us. I would also crawl to the ends of the earth and far beyond for my boys if I had to, just as she did for us. I promised to always love my husband and his family just as she loved Mike and his. I promised to give the boys "The Biggest wettest kisses and biggest hugs from her every day." and to remind them of her as much as I could so they would never forget her. I have. I made her promise to take care of my angel baby with my Aunt Dawn who was like my second mother while she was in heaven. I have now lost two mothers. When one wasn't able to be there for me, the other was. I thank God for my mother's incredible strength, and I can only dream of having that strength for my boys.

in giving me one last gift,I unknowingly gave my mom one last gift and memory she took with her. I called her 5 times and asked if she were okay,needed anything, or would like us to stay home form our vacation. She sounded fine, and told me that she did not want us to stay, she wanted us to go and have fun, that she loved me. I did not know that would be the last time I'd hear her voice, or see her face, and feel her arms around me. I thankfully did get to talk to her via text message and I called one last time shortly before she passed and told her how proud I was of her, and how much I loved her. I told her how much fun Jayden had at Seaworld. My step dad told me about showing her the pictures I sent her, and he told me that her face light up like the fourth of July and had a smile on her face from ear to ear, when she saw Jayden playing around with the Dolphins. Our text to one another while I drove out to California seem so remedial now, but I will cherish them. Random things like whether to grow Jayden's hair out or cut it, and how excited we were to see Jayden's reaction to Seaworld, and that I must put lard in my breast milk because Zechy was a little chunker. That she was proud of me for breastfeeding both boys. Her last gift to me and act as my mom was, and I don't know whether to saying let me go or made me go, spend a happy peaceful family vacation with my husband and boys. I had no idea until it was over, that it was my last gift to her and act as her daughter to send her pictures and updates about Jayden and how he was reacting to Seaworld. I gave her comfort of enjoying my babies, and watching them have fun. that's what super heroes do. My mom was, is and will always be my super hero. Thank you mom, for always being my super hero. Words could never say how grateful I am for your wisdom, strength, gifts, knowledge and stubbornness you passed down to me.

Always in my heart and I love you mom, please find peace and rest now.

Love Always, Your Daughter,
April.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Month 2 of Fit and Healthy Mommy




So month 2 of my Fit and Healthy Mommy Journey. So far it has been slightly slow. I have been recuperating from oral surgery, having Zechariah a little over a month ago, adjusting to two children, returning to the swing of things at church and returning to work. I'm hoping that month 2 will yield me more results now that I seem to have a system down.

Above are two photos. A frontal view and a side view. As you can see, it is not that bad. I would really like to tone and firm some areas up. So, here goes my initial stats (ekkkk, can NOT believe that I am admitting to these stats, oh gosh....) 149lbs (in my defense I had full tatas. At weight in it was nearing time for me to pump or feed Zech. lol. Hey now, it's my story and I'm sticking to it.) And my body fat was 16%, which is not good, but it's not bad. So Monday I will sit down with my trainer and devise goals, and a plan to get me to goal and maintain goal. Thursday night however is Zumba again! He wants me to start with two cardio workouts a week, to help build back up my endurance. I am SOOOOO OUT OF SHAPE, that it is not even funny.

Tonight I did Body Attack, and OMG, I thought I was going to die! It's SUCH an intense workout. It's almost a cross of Zumba and Taboo. SOOOOOO intense. I'm already feeling it in my arms and legs. Feel the burn baby, feel the burn. lol. Other than my heart pounding and screaming while trying to escape my chest, it was a good work out. It actually felt great!

I did however, accomplish a lot of other things on the list towards becoming a better fit and healthy mommy this last month. I saw  my OB/GYN for my 6 week PP check up this last Friday, all went well. Everything went well there. Well, mostly well. There is still only 1 lingering issue to deal with. My BP was still higher than normal. =( It was 132/93 which isn't "that" high, but definitely higher than my "normal". My normal before my pregnancy with Zechariah was 98/67, so you can see why it's still some what concerning. So she knew I had my appointment the following Monday with my family practitioner, so she sent my records to her office, and would go with my family practitioners recommendations.

On Monday I saw my family practitioner. Outside of the normal check up, only a few concerns. One of course being my bp. It was 130/90 on Monday, so slightly lower, but still higher than "normal". She ordered me a daily bp monitoring kit. She wants me to monitor my BP every day for a month. Record it, and every Friday bring it into her office. I'm to check and record my bp 3 times a day. Which when she checked my heart it sounded enlarged to her, however, she feels like it is due to my high blood pressure. So that's why she wants me to monitor it for a month, and she will re check my heart at that point. If there is no change she is going to send me to the same heart doctor that Scott was referred to.

My in office thyroid test came back slightly low. So she is sending me to have a full blood panel done for my thyroids. Doesn't surprise me. =( Thyroid and heart issues, along with blood pressure and diabetes run in my family. Hopefully it is not something substantially wrong, and just a fleeting moment or faulty test. So we shall see.

I also had my check up from the oral surgeon from my oral surgery. Everything is healing perfectly fine! So thank you for all of the prayers and good vibes for a speedy fast, and un eventful recovery. Seems to be that I am recovering just fine.

I also checked my spirital well being this month as well. In adition to dedicating Zechariah to the LORD, I also took a huge step forward with our womens ministries and asked for help, guidence, and prayer. I guess since I'm being open with my church family and with my very close friends, might as well be frank with the rest of the world.

I LOVE working. Not only is it an additional income that helps sustain a living for my husband and our family. I LOVE having the freedom and independence of working. I love being able to socialize at work. I have worked my entire teenage and adult life. So for me not to work, it doesn't feel natural. However, lately I've been hearing God giving me a "new calling". One that I'm not totally prepared for. One that I'm not sure I can do or fill as well as co-provider.

I have this deep desire, and want to suddenly become a stay at home mom full time. I want to foster the growth, learning and development of my children. I don't want to miss a single after school activity or sports event. It's a feeling that keeps growing and growing inside of me. I tried the "stay at home mom" gig for a short 4 months after having Jayden. It just didn't work for me. I was SOOO bored, and I hated it. Scott and I had many issues. Mostly because I was so bored, and it was so hard to find or do anything within budget of a one income family. I enjoy the freedom and flexibility of a two income family. We would have to really sit down and completely re arrange our finances, and re set our budgets if I were to become a stay at home mom. I am NOT sure what God is wanting from me at this point. I'm waiting on Him before I make a decision and commit to it. It's a very real, and difficult struggle inside I am having. I'm having a rough time working through it. That's why I went to my church family. So my spiritual well being is wonderful, aside from this delima I am seeming to have.


Beautiful momma is in full swing. Full Pedi done. Eye brows done, and next week I have a massage appointment. =) This is by far my favorite and most difficult part of my journey. It's obvious as to why it is my favorite, but not so obvious why it is so difficult. It's hard for me to spend any kind of money, attention, or detail to myself and my appearance. It's NOT something I can easily do. I'm working through it, with some help of course! I am really trying to enjoy it. So far I have learned about myself is, I miss writing, and reading. I LOVE to read and write. I also have lost my desire for photography, and it's because I have lost my desire for myself. So because I want my photography to flourish, I am looking for my beauty, in every way. I know that may NOT make sense to some, but if you want I could try and explain it. It is my hope that ONE day, my photography can be a large supplement to our income for our family, because it is flexible and I can have my boys right there with me. =)

Well that's about it for now. I'm going to go enjoy some snuggle time with my wonderful husband. Good night ya'll.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

We have decided that simply discipline Jayden is not working. Spanking his bottom, smacking his hand, and time outs are not working. I am tired of disciplining him only to have him laugh at us like it's a game and then do what he just got in trouble for again, or completely ignore us and do something even more disruptive and destructive.

We know he's just testing his limits as a toddler, and because he has a new baby brother and wants to see how much he can get away with now that we have divided attention between the two boys.

So after some research and talking to family members and friends at church, we have decided to give this whole positive re enforcement thing a try with the disciplining, as well as the usage of charts and learning. It might be that he is like me. When I wasn't being challenged I was a fire cracker. Once I was being challenged academically or through some sort of after school program such as music, track, girl scouts, etc I excelled and was a model student and child. So we are going to try it this way and see what happens. If nothing else we can move onto something else if it doesn't work.

So below are the pictures I took of Jayden's mini lesson area with his charts. I truly hope that this works. We chose to do prizes and special outings and ice cream for one for incentives until we pin point what gets his attention and keeps it in regards to rewarding the good.

For his Learning chart the first week we are learning the following:
The letter "A"
The number "1"
The color "Blue"
The body part "Eyes"

The Second week we are learning the following:
The letter "B"
The number "2"
The color "Red"
The body part "Nose"

Every day he has the chance to earn a 1, 2, or 3. 1's means he didn't even try or attempt to do the lesson, pay attention, sit down, or was disruptive/destructive. 2's mean he had some difficulty that day, but over all he was on task. 3's mean he had a great lesson that day in that subject.

His prize for the Learning charts is that on the following Monday he will get to go get Ice Cream with Mommy and Daddy as long as he does not have any 1's on his chart. He will get to help pick out a sticker and put it on his chart for each subject each day. Hopefully that gives him some excitement to partake in it.


For his Good behavior chart His 3 goals are:
1) No hurting others. This means no hitting, biting, throwing, pinching, slapping, etc. We are going to try to use the concept to encourage him to "Keep his hands to himself" and "Use Nice, gentle hands". So we shall see how that goes.

2) Listens to directions and follows them. This one is self explanatory.

3) No tantrums or whinning, use our words to ask for things we want or need. (This one is going to be by far the hardest for Jayden.)

His prizes will be either go to the Big Park with the splash pad, or go swimming at grandma and grandpas house.




His Chore chart is also fairly simple: His prize is the same as his good behavior chart, just flipped from week one to week two.

1) Pick up his toys when he goes to nap, bed for the night, and when we leave.

2) Throws away his trash, dirty diapers and helps with throwing away baby brothers diapers.

3) Helps out when asked and needed to.





His final chart is his potty training chart. With this we will be asking him once an hour if he has to go potty. When he sucessfully tells us he has to go potty and uses the potty he will get to pick out a special prize from the prize bin. Those prizes will range from "gift certificates" to spend special one on one time with mommy and or daddy, special treat out for dinner, special snack, a new little toy (Like hot wheels or something), etc.



For each chart we have bought stickers in which he will get to help us put up his stickers he has earned for that day. He will only get a sticker if it's a 3 for that chart that day. If it's a 1 we will mark it with a red X, if it's a 2 then we will let him help us mark it with a yellow check mark. We want to mak sure he understands that RED X is not desired, and getting a sticker on the chart is. =)

We shall see how this all works and plays out!


I have somewhat come up with my own lesson plans and goals. I have made it to where there is 4 subjects a week we will work on.
Anything else I get from below:

I get my filler in lessons from this website: