LONG DAY AT HOME! =(

So, I figured after such a LONG week working on cleaning up and moving the old apartment to storage, and the house, that I would take a "break" today and stay home. Especially since I have a busy busy busy weekend ahead of me. 


Even though I stayed home today, it was LONGER than the rest of my days this week by far. SO MUCH SO, that I begged hubby to come home ASAP, because I was to the point of tears. 


I have this constant pain in my left pelvic area, feels like strong period cramps, and like a period, but no period, sure a few spots here and there. But nada. Ugh. That's got me up in arms and on a fine thread.


I feel like I never see hubby any more between work and his new band.


I'm exhausted from being the ONLY one that takes care of Jayden 24/7, working, going to school, church things, etc. I'm so tired. Ready to sleep for like 3 years.


No today was one of those days that Jayden was fussy from the get go. All sorts of grumpiness from him today. =( NOT FUN!


Aside from him being grumpy, he was CONSTANTLY hungry, and he absolutely would not allow me to put him down.


I barely got his laundry done, the dishes and made tea during his 2-10 min naps. 


it's 10pm almost and he is STILL fighting me to go to sleep. 


We have a LONG day tomorrow, and he is making it a LONG NIGHT, after a LONG DAY! 


Seriously, I'm to the point of tears, with all of Jayden's Crankiness and crying today. =( I think it was made worse by the fact that I've been alone all day, and no one to help. Scott literally got home from work, flew upstairs to change and then left for band practice. =(


My back feels as if it's gonna break in half at any given second. 


I just LOVE being left alone to take care of our child from 6am-11pm. (Before he's awake and after he goes to sleep.) Scott is taking care of Jayden ALL day on Sunday by himself. I'm not lifting a finger. I will nurse him, and play when I want to, other than that I'm sleeping all day. 


ugh. Well, we thickened, (when I say we, I mean me, myself, and I) Jayden's rice cereal today gradually. So far so good. =) He's really starting to like it, and starting to get use to the spoon. Once we get to regular cereal consistency we will be starting stage one baby food. Kind of nervous about that. 


Anyways, It's time I take a a shower and go to bed. talk to you later. Night people. 

Awwww the blissful, blissful silence. =)~

So with the directions over the phone from the pediatrician, and the help of my wonderful Mother in Law, we successfully gave Jayden his first bottle of breast milk and rice cereal. YAY! =( My little bear is growing up! Hard to believe that he's almost 17 weeks old! He will be 4 months old TOMORROW! 


I'm sort of mushy to begin with, and I never really "cried" during most songs, unless they had some sort of SIGNIFICANT meaning. However, As I was running around doing errands, moving, cleaning, etc, I listen to my three favorite radio stations, (Since I forgot my mp3 player and my laptop. I could have used my phone, but didn't want to get caught playing with it while driving.) Anyways, all the songs about kids that came on made me choke up and cry. =(


Like for example: Rodney Atkins song, Watching You. (Have you heard it?) Made me choke up the MOST!!!! I totally see Jayden doing that, and I totally see Scott reacting and acting like that. I teared up during Lonestar's Mr Mom. lol. And OMG did Gary Allen's Song Tough Little boys get me going! When did I become such a wimp? Seriously. lol. I thought I was done with these "pregnancy" hormones. lol. I guess not. That's okay. Just shows me how much I love my little man. 


The news always makes me cringe, and cry or get angry at some point or another. Whether I'm catching it online, or on TV. Most days I try to avoid it, but I want to see the weather, get sports updates, see/read the news. I am telling you, I CAN NOT take any more stories about "Monster moms/Parents". Seriously! Who kills their children at any age?


Today alone in the news was 3 different stories of parents killing their children. I'm sure as many know, the people of Arizona are hoping that Mr Almaleki gets the Chair and FRIES!!!! That's flesh I wouldn't mind smelling. I hope he rots in Hell for killing his daughter? And for what? Because she became "Too Westernized"? Really? You chose to run your daughter over because she decided she had enough with the religion? Dang, my dad should have ran me over when I was 7 then. Idiot. We live in AMERICA, let me spell that for you Mr Almaleki, A-M-E-R-I-C-A. We don't run around and kill our children with our cars because they chose to leave their religious beliefs? What the heck is wrong with you!


The second story was about the baby with Shaken Baby Syndrome in Lawrence passed away two days ago, after 2 months on life support. The "courts ordered that since there was no discernible brain activity that the baby was declared legally dead, and removed from life support systems." Meanwhile the PARENTS, who were/are suspects weren't arrested until TODAY! And not the mom, since she has a "viable" alibi of being at the "grocery store". She should get arrested TOO since she waited 6 hours to go to the ER. Are you kidding me? 6 hours? I have spent time in a busy grocery store, but NEVER took me 6 friggen hours! These too should fry in the chair and burn in hell too.


The THIRD heartbreaking story, was a "mother" in Indiana, shot and killed her three children ages 14, 9, and 4 along with their family dog, then started a fire to burn the "evidence" and the house with them in it, before she killed herself. Seriously what was wrong with her? At least she did us all a favor and bought herself a one way ticket to hell.  She did this after because her husband filed for divorce and left two weeks prior. MOVE ON lady. That poor father, I can only imagine what he's going through. 


I just don't understand how, or why someone would harm their child/ren? WHY? It makes NO sense to me? They can't be that bad to cause harm to them? I'm telling you we should make every one "sterile" at birth, and then they have to take a physc test and get a licence to be parents, and have children to become unsterilized before having babies. This would cut children's mortality down, it would lesson the abortion rates, lesson teen pregnancy, lesson children in orphanages and foster care. It's a WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN in my book. I don't understand it, if you don't/didn't want children then why didn't you make it so you couldn't have children? Why do you have to be so selfish and evil and harm innocent lives? 


Okay I'm off my soap box on that now. Seriously no more monster parent stories. I've had enough. =(


I have the apartment almost completely packed, cleaned, and moved. YAY! Go me, and I did it all with my baby boy by myself! Not much left, basically just furniture, that I need Scott's help with, somethings going to the dump, some going to goodwill. I will be SOOOO happy to finally be OUT of there! 


We went and had lunch with God mama Dee Dee. Jayden just LOVED spending time with her. (I did too! I miss her so much!) 


Then when we got home, did a little cleaning and rearranging. Scott and I decided that since Jayden's Toys seem to grow by the day, it's time to get a organizer/toy thing. So we saw one at Target that was a table like one with all kinds of cool pockets for toys, blankets, diapers, burp clothes, a change of clothing, etc. It was 20 bucks. So we are getting it tomorrow. =)


I'm excited because Scott says he has a "surprise" for me this Valentines Day! I don't know what it is, he hasn't "hinted" towards it, but I'm really excited! I can't wait! He's not typically very romantic, but this is a SPECIAL Valentines day for us! =) (hopefully we will make our lil pink baby! So wish us luck and send the pink dust!) 


I think my hubby is having an affair. lol. Not the type with another woman, with Music. It's okay, I support his dreams. I just miss him tons. On the bright side I get the truck to drive when I want to, to go do what I want to do. So at least I'm not stuck at home being lonely and bored. 


Well peeps, it's time I get to bed! Nighty night!


Oh, no baby this month. The beginnings of AF came today. =( There's always NEXT month. 

Rice Cereal, How Exciting! =)~

So, among getting diapers, the night time formula oragel swabs, and infant pain relief, we stopped and looked at the rice cereal and compared things. We ended up buying a small pack. How exciting! Baby boy will be starting solids! lol. That means, with any luck he will sleep LONGER! ::Crosses fingers::


We wanted to wait until we saw his Pedi on the 31st, but he seems to be getting hungrier and hungrier and depleting my stash of frozen milk in the freezer. We keep him on the boob as much as possible, but when it just isn't getting the job done we give him a bottle and I try to pump and or express some milk out. 


So, with my in laws help, and my in detail research online, we will be starting the rice cereal a week early. No biggie. 


I'm excited because I've heard so much good, mostly helps with sleep and teething. However, a part of me is sad. This step means my baby boy is growing up. Right before my very eyes. ::sniff sniff::


Let's see how this goes. I am excited for his Pedi appointment and scared. I'm excited to see how much he's grown and see what milestones he has in "goal" and which ones he's hit (Officially, according to the Pedi of course.) I'm scared because we are getting more vax's. =( We decided only to do vaccinations that are necessaries to go to school. We don't believe in over vaxing. So no flu shot, none of that crap. When Scott or I get it, it makes us sicker than a dog for like a year. When we don't vax, we are healthy and rarely get sick. I have a feeling Jayden will be the same.


Today was a LONG day at work. I am glad that this weekend, is OVER. (I consider Monday's part of the weekend, since I work, and hubby has the day off.) Now I can "sort of" relax a little. I still have typical  mommy and wife duties to attend to, like cleaning, laundry. But I have working out, play dates, and the remaining moving/cleaning to do. So it wont be a low key week, it will still be busy, but I get to do it at my own pace, in my own time. =)


What will I do with myself this Saturday? I have it off. (I work only Saturday's and Monday's. Child care, plus I don't want to miss out on raising my own son. That's why I'm working hard in school to start my own in home business. Not that we NEED me to work, but it gives me a sense of self worth and accomplishment.)


I love my husband to death. But this whole band stuff, is getting on my nerves. It seems like every night, he's either at band practice, or "practicing on his own". I'm sort of sick of it. Not that I don't want him to pursue his dreams. but man, can we take a break? Can he be home sometime during the day and spend time with Jayden and I? I know a LOT of mother's out there give their children baths by themselves, and they feed them by themselves, and they get them to bed by themselves. But Scott and I are NOT typical. 


We are different. We believe in shared roles. I do what I can to provide, he does what he can to provide. I do my wife/cleaning duties, he does his husband/cleaning duties. We view ourselves are EQUAL partners. We "answer" to one another of course, by all means, but not in a submissive wife, dominating husband roles. It's not our cup of tea. 


We are fully aware that the bible states that there are "specific" roles and behaviors for a wife and for a husband. We get that. We do in fact follow that, however, we take it a step further, and we lend a hand. If I can't finish the laundry because I chose to go on a play date, or to get out of the house, hubby picks it up where I left off. Vise versa. There isn't anything one two things that are "role" genderized in our family. Those roles are, Scott goes to work to provide for us, and I stay home to raise our child. Yes when grandma and grandpa or daddy is home, I get to work, but it's to give me sanity, not to provide and not out of a need. IF the roles had to change, like something happened to Scott's job, or him, I will work to provide, and he would stay home. Point is, we take shared responsibility in roles and obligations. 


We are "submissive" to each other. By that I mean, we communicate our needs, wants, desires, and together come up with a goal and a plan. We talk everything out before doing. 


So what? My house may be a tiny messy? Or the toliet needs a scrub, or the bath tub has a mild ring to it. The dishes may not get done, and I might not vacuum four times that week? Is it gonna kill us? No. Is hubby gonna be mad? No. Will it get done? Yes. We just believe it's important to each of us to be valued, supported, and helped. 


That's why I can't be too upset with this band thing. Hubby supports me in going back to school for Photography. He supports me to do my photography. It may even take me away from him a night or two. But in the end, we have each other's consent, support, love, value, and help. Isn't that what a thriving marriage is? To be each other's "helper"? 


Anyways, I just realized this rant went on longer than I wanted it to. Time for bed! oh sweet sweet bed, how I love thee! =) Good night peeps!


Oh, one more thing, if you haven't noticed we are TTC, send us baby dust, PINK BABY DUST~~~~~ Thanks! Nighty night!

Hmmm, Ramblings of one tired mama.

I just realized that I had not blogged in a few days. So, here are some updates, and a bunch of ramblings.


So, I've had my w-2's for a while now. Hubby just got his. So we will be filing our taxes this week sometime, hopefully. In any case, this is the first time we are filing together, and I'm a little apprehensive about it. We are doing more or less to get the maximum return we can, and because it's our first year being married, and we had Jayden this year. So, it should be a GREAT return for us. 


You are probably wondering why I'm a little apprehensive about it. Well, Hubby is one of those, if we've got the money type, let's spend it. When I'm more or less the let's just place it some where safe for a while and decide how to best use it. (Secretly I want to hide it for as long as possible and save for the best things we need, while on the other hand, hubby would LOVE to spend it on guitar stuff, music stuff, car stuff...etc.) So the check this year will be in BOTH of our names going into a joint account. =( He has PROMISED not to touch it until AFTER we buy me a new car, and camera stuff. Also we are setting some aside for a good summer vaca. 


Speaking of Summer vaca's, what are some GOOD vaca's we can take with little man being 6-9 months old? We are saving San Diego Zoo, Disneyland, and Seaworld for sure until the next summer. The other theme parks not until he's 4-6 years old, we will see how things go. We KNOW for sure one way or another, we are hitting the beach for some beach bumming. We were thinking of going up to Washington State to cross into Canada and do Victoria, and the market in Seattle. 


I know there isn't a WHOLE lot you can do with a 6-9 month old, but Hubs and I need a vaca hard core since we haven't had one in 3 years. =( Last year was the middle of my pregnancy, and we were pinching and saving and preparing for Jayden. The year before that I was a crazy workaholic. The year before that, Hubs and I were keeping to ourselves, and keeping things hush hush. And I was still "technically" living in Prescott, so between the drive "home" and to work, not a whole lot of time, with me moving up in the company. =( 


If you haven't learned anything about Scott and I by now, here's a little fore warning. We do things unorthodox, and backwards.


I worked out Friday at South Mountain Park. WOW was it good, but tough. I'm liking it. I've lost 7 pounds already! I plan on doing some sort of "hiking/walking" at a park/trail 3 times a week. This next week I will be finishing up packing and cleaning the rest of our old apartment. However, I will be working out as well. Anyone who wants to/can is allowed to join me! I'd love the company. 


Saturday I got to do some work! Yay! Felt good to be out of the house without a baby boy attached to my hip. lol. I love to get this time away, but I do love my baby boy, so I rushed home to cuddle with him. =) Getting home was a NIGHTMARE!!! ADOT, so smart they are, closed the loop 101 IN SCOTTSDALE all the way to the I-17 during Barret Jackson week, and people coming in for the Phoenix Open. It was a friggen DISASTER!!! What SHOULD have taken me no more than 40 mins to get home took an hour and 50 mins! Freaks! I should write ADOT and tell them to check the cities iternaries(SP) before shutting down freeways, when the freeway is practically the ONLY way to get from one side of town to the other in a decent time without having to take side streets and running into dead ends all over the place. 


I did get to come home to a pleasant surprise. It's times like this when I remember just how much I love hubby, and how he steals my breath and heart. He tells me, check the surprise I left on the camera for you. I ask which one, he says the little digi one. Okay, I check it, couldn't tell what was going on, except it was a video of Jayden. So I open the laptop and check it out on there. OMG! It was him and Jayden playing! Cutest thing EVER. (I'm currently trying to upload it to facebook, I'm also loading it up to youtube.com so which ever one goes first, is the one I will post on FB).


Saturday Night I spent the night in agony trying to deal with my engorged breast. NOT so fun, and doing homework. I eventually got to relieve myself when Hubs and I decided to get into the hot tub in the back yard. (I've heard hot water helps relief.) So after about an hour and a half of sitting submerged and massaging it out, sweet relief came! Just in time too! I was getting frustrated, I was in pain, and I was tired. 


Sunday, was sort of typical not so typical. Church as always. 


Went to get our storage locker for our things until we get our house. Went to go get the trailer we were promised, that turned into a joke. So we went to the apartment empty handed, with just our truck, and hubby's brother. Despite not having the trailer, we got a lot done. Most everything but the entertainment center is packed down, and our bed. Did a TON of cleaning. Felt good to be able to throw away old busted worn out stuff. (We got a bunch of new stuff for Christmas.) We took a truck load to the storage, came home and ate.


So in a nut shell that was our weekend. =)


High light of my weekend was meeting Bret Michaels. =)


Tomorrow I get to work! Yay! I'm nervous about leaving Jayden home with daddy all day. It will be the first time that they have been home alone for 10 hours straight! Wish Scott luck!!!!


Jayden's teeth are acting so weird. He seems to be teething "all over" the place. =(  He is one unhappy camper.


What bothers me is I asked for advice and info on the POSSIBILITY of other teeth other than the front bottom coming in first. And I mentioned that I am using orajel. People are harping me to stop using it. If I wanted the advice on WHAT to use I would have. I didn't. I asked what is the possibility of other teeth coming in first. I wish people would quit telling me how to handle and RAISE MY SON. 


I get that they are trying to help and are concerned. But man, answer the question I had, and don't lecture me on how I'm handling something else. shesh. 


I'm not trying to be mean, I realize I'm a little on edge lately (Mostly because I'm paranoid since I had a period on December, but none yet this month. I'm officially 2 1/2 almost 3 weeks late. ugh.) I wanna test, but on the same token I'm scared to. 


I want my children close in age, but not barely a year close. lol. Idk. Rambling now.


I have quite a few stresses right now. My Step Father In Law is starting to get on my nerves a wee bit. He said that we were sloppy and unclean today. WTH? ME sloppy, lazy and unclean? Really? Last time I check I dust every 3 days, I do the dishes EVERY DAY, sometimes TWICE a day. I make tea every day. I workout every day. Play with my son almost ALL day. I do homework, go to school, work, starting to get clients for photography so I can work from home, cook, clean, do laundry every 3-4 days. I manage to get some "me" time to keep my sanity. I clean the bathrooms once a week. 


I mean seriously he wants to call me sloppy, lazy and unclean because I don't have enough time to get on my hands and knees and scrub a Small, barely visible soap line in the tub, or a few dirty places on a bathroom floor? The point is I am CONSTANTLY cleaning. In fact I'm the only one that does any cleaning here. So if you want to call ANYONE lazy it's them. Ugh. Seriously. If he's not at work, he's home in his precious lazy boy watching tv, or on the patio smoking. He doesn't help with chores/dishes/cooking. He doesn't go to church. So I'M THE LAZY ONE? I'm the UNCLEAN SLOPPY ONE? 


All I have to say is at least MY HUSBAND does for me. What does he do for his wife? 


Man I'm tired. I guess I'm gonna snuggle up with Jayden, and get some shut eye while I nurse him. I've got a LONG day tomorrow. I've got to work. 


Good night and that's all she wrote tonight. =) 

Jayden walks in his walker!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caXC3sdPUkQ

I have included a video of my son from today's fun exploration. =) He absolutely LOVED walking in his walker today. Did it for 3 hours straight. So I got ALL of the remaining laundry done, folded and put away. He was pretty much play play play all day long! He tired himself out so much. He finally let us give him a bath early and feed him. He is FAST asleep now. YAY! So hopefully he will sleep GOOD tonight.


That was sadly my day. But on the flip good side, I got to watch my lil man do something new and exciting today, and I wouldn't change that for anything!!!! 


In a week and a half, on the 31st we have Jayden's 4 month old appointment. This consist of his 4 month shots (ONLY shots needed to go to school down the line. NO FLU shot or anything else.) At this appointment we will have to up his reflux meds, at least the stronger one that he currently takes 5ml once a day. He's got projectile spit up again. =( Poor kiddio. We will also be discussing starting solids. So in a week in a half we will be starting solids!!! Bring it on rice cereal. I'm rather torn on this. I'm scared and excited at the same time. Starting solids means he's growing up right before my eyes, and this is bittersweet, I'm excited because this means he will SLEEP LONGER and better!! I'm down for more than 6 hours at best of sleep! Don't worry, I will still be ebfing, no formula, only as a supplement if needed, however I have such a back supply of breast milk doubt I will need formula. 


Well we think Jayden will be popping a tooth through sometime soon. =( fever, poop, screaming pain, lost of appetite. Only baby orejal and baby Tylenol sooth him. Because I have OAL I can't comfort nurse him. 


Well That's it for tonight. TTYL.

We all fall down sometimes, and we all need a little reminder. 


I am Your's and Your's alone LORD. =) 


Sometimes, the best thing is to just give it to God. No matter what it might be. Struggles come and go. Just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean I don't still struggle, and it certainly doesn't mean I'm perfect by any means. It does mean, that I'm forgiven, and God will pull me up, and love me the same none-the-less.


LORD~ My heavenly Father, take my sins, take my pains and aches mentally, physically and emotionally. Heal me of skeletons, forgive me for not having a Christ Like Nature, and emulating your love and forgiveness.


I all too often forget that I am freed through you of all things. I often forget that I am to act and love as you do. I often let the devils and demons of this world attack me. I can not promise that it wont happen again, and I can not tell you, I will be perfect, but you already knew that. What I can tell you, is that I will continue to work on these, and I will continue to find ways to love, accept, and appreciate life, the life you have given me, and the life you have designed for me. 


I know you have designed greatness in my life, and for me. That you designed me and my life to help others who are hurting, hung up, and dragged out. I know my struggles represent theirs, and that your mission for me, is to seek those out, and bring them to you at the foot of Christ's Cross. Lord I thank you for this. I thank you for the opportunity to love and be loved by you, for the opportunity to worship you, and to bring others to you. I thank you for allowing me to be your vessel; even though I feel that at times I have failed you, or that I can not do it. Even in my doubt, even in my clouds, you have been there for me. Even through the dark and the storms, you always stand firm making sure I make it through alive.


There is no God like you Lord, and for that I am grateful, for that I find peace. I find generosity, and grace. For that I can never thank you enough. I can never thank you enough for the blessings and the beauty you have given me in this life. 


I have all that I can ask for. I have the love of an incredible husband, to love and memories of a wonderful son, to which you and you alone provided to me. Thank you LORD, for everything. 


AMEN. 

Tanget of Sorts.

As Christians, we are called to love one another. We are called to treat our neighbor as ourselves. We are called to do so many things, that so many people, including myself, forget to do. Which is frustrating. 


I despise organized religion. I truly do. I thought I could escape the trechories in a non denominational church. Truth is, you can never FULLY escape it, because we are human; by design to mess up, to sin.


A church, (To keep it simple, and to keep names out of it), that Scott and I used to attend, makes me angry to the max.


Sure, we don't live in a bubble. We don't have the flashy cars or perhaps the biggest flashy home, or that ideal flashy job. BUT WE ARE OKAY WITH THAT. WE DON'T MIND IT AT ALL, because we are perfectly happy. Good for you that you have the perfect american dream, in the "perfect" order. Want a cookie? Who gives a crud?


God, and God alone designed OUR lives before we were born into this world. HE KNOWS what paths we are taking, and what ones we have to take. So how is it fair to say YOUR life is better than mine, even if it took 11 years for us, even if it took doing it "backwards" in your view? WHO the heck are you to tell us we did it wrong or outside of God's will? Really? Because you are in our hearts? You are in God's Mind and knows his great design? Last time I checked the bible is FULL of sinners and God still loves them, and took them to the Promise land. How am I any different?


So you are probably wondering what the heck this little tanget or tiff is about. 


Well, Scott and I had been going to this church that I spoke about above, for about two years. 


They did nothing but try and destroy us. Told us we were living in a sinners world, that we wouldn't be blessed and that our relationship wouldn't take flight because of it. We had some issues, what relationship doesn't? They really tried everything they could to separate us. I think they saw me as the devil. See Scott is sort of they type of person that will pretty much believe anything, well, anything in the bible or at church that is. It wasn't until I was like, wait, no, that is wrong. That scripture was used WAY out of context. 


We felt like because we essentially were the ONLY unmarried couple their besides the high school kids, that we were outcasts. 


If I had not stood up for Scott and I, and our relationship, and if I had not stood up for the fact that they were using scriptures incorrectly Scott would still be a mindless drone, hanging on their every move and word. He has since become a little better at taking notes and checking things out for himself in the bible. We actually do it together. 


Anyways, we announced our pregnancy, they shunned us, they didn't even really congratulate us. All they could do was continue to down us, try to separate us, and they went as far as throwing Scott off of the worship team. So we said, goodbye. 


We left church all together. Left it all behind us, and left fate up to God, and put it into his hands. We left God work on us, individually and together. We let God know that he was in charge and we'd accept his Will for us. Which worked WONDERS. Scott and I grew closer, loved deeper, and our life has since been fulfilled to the millionth degree.


What makes me mad is all of this put together. Scott's supposive "best friend" (Whole other story wont get on that tonight) the new drummer, who is married, and now they are expecting. What did that church do? They showered them with LOTS of Congratulations, whop la, even did it on fb, and their webpage. 


So because they fit the image of picture perfect, and did EVERYTHING right and in the right order, or so they have the church believing, they get to be a part of the "club", but because Scott and I didn't, we are exiled, to exile island. 


Am I wrong to be upset? We thought these people were our friends, were our brothers and sisters in Christ. Were TRUE Christians. They honestly believe they did the right thing, said the right things. They stand by it. Good for them. But how do they know God's will's? How do they know God's designs? 


So celebrate one couple's pregnancy because they did everything by the "book" and shun another's because they didn't? Hmmm, call me crazy, that doesn't sound very Christ-like to me. 


I know I really shouldn't bare any mind to it, but man, oh man. It's thinks like this that make me wonder who the true evil is? Church itself, and or Religion. 


Thankfully Scott and I found a new church. They know our past, and they love us none the less. They accept us, want us to worship, grow, study, and lead with them. They are accepting, as any Christian should be, to our long history and past. 


Ugh... Is all I can say.


Anyways, sorry for the "tanget" "tiff" whatever you will call it, but I had to get that off my chest before I let it eat me alive.


I'm not done, because I have another evil brewing inside of me, but this is enough for one night. I will have to do the rest later.


As of now, I have to get my "werewolf" son to bed, and hope that the full moon doesn't affect him a second night. Mama needs her sleep! I don't care if it's gas, teeth pains, growing pains, whatever it is, my son, my husband and I all need our rest. Goodnight, and go away full moon.

Motivation anyone?

So, if you have a dash of motivation, please send it my way. 

I've got a mile long list today. =( And I'm working off of MAYBE 3 hours of sleep. I'm pretty sure that's all I managed to get last night.

So here's my list:

Put clean dishes away.

Put Dirty dishes in dishwasher.

Make some iced tea.

Start Scott's Laundry.

Do Bedding and towel Laundry.

Vacuum Living room, both formal and informal, vacuum kitchen, and downstairs walkways.

Go for AT LEAST 3 mile walk.

Play with baby boy.

Do at least 2 homework assignments.

HOPEFULLY play around with my camera.

Definitely gonna need some motivation juice today. 

Would it be wrong to indulge in a Pepsi?

I have no energy. My body hurts. My eyes are half dead. I feel like a zombie right about now. How will I ever make it through the day?

Oh Lord, Please, please, just help me make it through my list of stuff and day. Help my wee little man teeth, and make it not hurt so bad, so that mommy and daddy can get some rest tonight. 

Okay, seriously someone push me and give me some motivation? I will sit here all day. lol. =)

Okay, Okay, here I go. TTYL!

Not so much as bad gas as teething. Grrr.

So Jayden pretty much was inconsolable this morning again at 5am this time. He mused around and rolled around at 4am, but we were able to give him his paci and he rolled over and went back to sleep.

After doing a variety of things, such as burping him, attempting to nurser him (Which he did not want anything to do with), walking with him, rocking him, cuddling him, patting him, changing his diaper, and the list goes on. Nothing consoled him. 

It was then I had the bright idea to give him some baby orgel on the gum where the teeth should be popping through. Then I gave him a half dose of infant Tylenol. (I don't like to medicate my son, but at 5am when we've been up half the night trying to figure things out, I was desperate).

The orgel and Tylenol worked. Baby boy went back to sleep and we slept until 10am. Thank goodness because this mama needed some sleep!

He's in a much better mood now, although I think the Tylenol is wearing off, and it's time to give him some more gas drops. He's starting to get a little cranky. I think I will see if he's ready to finally eat/nurse.

I just feel so bad for baby boy. I wish I could do more for him, but I'm afraid this teething business is all for him, and he's just gonna have to experience it.

Well, that's it for now. Time to do some errands, do a little walking some more today to lose some more weight, eat breakfast, feed Jayden, and get some house work done. If I'm lucky perhaps play with my camera, and get some homework done. 

Well guys, Talk to you later. 

Attack of the Bad Gas.........

Hubby and take every measure to prevent gas build up in Jayden's wee tummy. Poor kiddio between the gas and reflux you'd think that he was ill, or at least collicy. He's not. Perfectly healthy in fact.

Anyways it was 3am, all was peacful when bam, Jaydens gas decided to come out and play. Not so fun.

It took a nursing session, a small walk, and many lil pats on his back to get him to calm down and relax. I gave him a dose of gas medicine and he laid calmly in his crib listening to his soothing seahorse.

After a few tosses, turns and rolls he found a comfty position curled up on his side and after releasing some gas build up shut his lil eyes and is now back is slumberland. Which is where I'm going back to myself now. Goodnight.

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Our day today.....

My baby boy decided that He wanted to wake up early since he went to bed early last night. So instead of sleeping in until at least 8 am, we woke up at 6:45am. Oh the Joys of being a new mommy.

Baby boy and I played, and then he went down for an early morning nap. Then mommy ate her daily breakfast of Oatmeal and Orange Juice.

My Uncles wife, my aunt, who graduated high school with my hubby, texted to do some walking and exercising. ( No my uncle isn't robbing the crib. He's hubby's and my age. 20 years after my aunt and dad, my grandparents had three more boys. My Uncles. They were born shortly before me, and one after me, so they are our age, and I grew up with them. One of my uncles graduated the same year I did, and the other one the same year as Scott.) Anyways, Nicole, my aunt, is my workout companion, and we are motivating each other to lose weight.

So we went walking, for 3 1/2 miles. Oh man am I feeling it now, but it was worth it. I feel slimmer, and I feel better. Much better if I had done a crash diet, or something along those lines. I decided NOT to, since it is not breastfeeding safe.

My little man is 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days old. So he will be four months at the end of the month. I  know if you go by a 7 day week type deal he will be four months, but is that accurate? I feel he isn't going to "truly" be 4 months until the 26th of the month. He's almost 16 weeks old. Will be on Sunday.

When my Step Father In Law got home, I got ticked off. He came in mad because, OMG, someone left the cat outside over night. I get it, animals are like our babies, trust me I'm the same way with my dog. But, he sometimes goes over board and takes it to the top. He sort of ticked me off with his comment; which I will not repeat.

Anyways, all is good now with that.

I was thinking today. My son is very loved and has lots of family that loves him and is constantly around him. However one side of the family ticks me off. My husbands Dad and Step mom. I mean really? They see their other 4 grand children at least once to six times a week!!!!! Since Jayden has been born they have seen him twice. The day he was born at the hospital, and the day before Thanksgiving. Do they even deserve the title of "grandparents"?

Seriously, My mother, who is dying from cancer has seen my son at least once a month, and calls every other day for updates. I mean they could at least make an attempt and or call, right?

I honestly think it's because Scott and I have a good life, and we have the only boy. They all have been pretty upset that we managed to have the only boy out of all the grandkids. Not to mention he's pretty spoiled by Scott's Mom and Step dad, and my family. I can't help it, he's the first grandchild for them.

I've been thinking about my Grandparents as well lately. The Farley's (Dad's mom and step dad) who I have some what difficult relationship with want to have updates on my life and Jayden's. I wish it could be better than that sometimes. Then Iris, my grandmother Farley does something out of line and pisses me off.

The Hamiltons (mom's mom and dad) LOVE our son to death. In Fact Grandpa Hamilton did Jayden's Dedication to the LORD. They love seeing him and having updates.

The McClellans, and I are no longer close, in fact we don't speak. Once again they have disappointed me, no supported me, and have become alcoholics completely destroying all of their relationships with the rest of the family.

Well, it's 10:43pm, Time for bed. I'm not sure what time baby boy will wake me up. I will continue my stories and journey tomorrow. Good night Peeps.

Welcome and get to know me!

What can I say that some of you don't already know? 

Let's start with the basics, because you will learn all about me through my blog entries.

I'm a Child of God and that comes first and foremost. I don't do anything without God's help, or him being that voice on my shoulder or in my head and heart. I pray, pray, and pray some more over every thing. =)

I'm the Wife to a most amazing man. He makes me laugh every day, he's there to comfort me when I need it. He encourages me, and stands by me no matter what. We have had a LONG, exhausting journey to get to where we are today, 11 years that is, but it was all worth it to stand here now and have the love we do. He is my high school sweetheart, my first true love. He is the father of my child and hopefully soon to be another child. So send the baby dust, the pink baby dust that is.

I gave birth to our miracle son, Jayden Isaac on September 26th, 2010 at 12:36 pm. We had him at Scottsdale Shea Hospital in Scottsdale Arizona. He is a true blessing. I love watching him grow and learn new things every day.

I'm going to school for Photography in the dreams of opening my own photography studio and or being a independent photographer! 

I'm a SAHM, working on slimming down by summer, but also prior to baby number two being made!

I'm a survivor. I'm a country girl at heart with a rockers soul. I was a girl scout; so always be prepared. I'm a Christian, who doesn't believe in Religion, I believe in God and His living Word alone.

I'm a disposable diapering, fuss it out, semi vaxing, circumcising, exclusively breastfeeding, baby wearing, hugs and kisses, reading and signing, mama. 

I Love my country, and I love my husband. 

The rest you will discover about me, you will either love me, or hate me. I'm a Taurus and one to a T. I'm stubborn, opinionated, and intelligent. 

I live to live. Dance every dance. I Live, Laugh and Love as my moto in life. 

I don't worry about life, because God has and will always provide for me. He has never let me down!

So welcome to my life, and enjoy the journey with me!

Enjoy Some of our moments so far since Jayden was Born. There are more stories and pictures to come. So sit back and relax.