A tad bit Controversial.

Our sweet son has slept through the nights since about 6 weeks. It was WONDERFUL! However, about 3ish weeks ago, he decided he was done sleeping through the nights. He would wake every 3ish hours, and want to be held, or to nurse, or be rocked, and sometimes he wanted to sleep in our bed with us.


Hubby and I have talked extensively about this. We do not want to get stuck forcing our child out of our bed when he's older. We have been very consistent in putting him back in the bassinet or his crib, when we switched him over to his crib. We have kept the same bed time routine. Never deviate from it. We have kept the exact same daily feeding/eating/nursing routine. 


We have found that in schedules, Jayden is exactly like me. He thrives off of them. He knows that each morning at 5am, he gets to nurse for as long as he likes. He knows at 6am when daddy wakes up for work, he goes back into his crib until we wake up sometime around or after 8am. He knows that sometime between 7pm-8pm, we start his bed time routine. We start with a little wind down play, nothing stressful, something like sitting in our laps and play by blowing bubbles or giving him raspberries. Often we will babble back and forth with each other. We then give him his reflux medicine. That is followed by his bath time. We spend a good 30 mins playing and washing up in the bath tub. We use sleepy time baby bath soap. We follow that by giving him a lotion massage before putting on his diaper and jammies, using bedtime baby lotion. He knows that after he is dressed and ready for bed, if he's not already sleepy and half asleep, sometimes already asleep, he knows without fail, sleep or awake, he will get to nurse for up to 45 mins. He also knows that whether he wakes up or is still asleep he gets to nurse one last time at 10pm, then no more food/eating/nursing until 5am.


He knows at 9am he gets his breakfast. He knows at 1pm he gets his lunch, and at 6pm he gets his dinner. He knows he gets his in between snacks as well. 


He knows that after his three major meals; breakfast, lunch, and dinner, that he will take a min of a half an hour nap.


He knows once he wakes from a nap we play, until he's ready to eat again.


It's kind of crazy, how very well he has fallen into this schedule. I'm very proud of how he did this.


That's all good, he get's plenty of food, he get's plenty of nursing sessions, he gets plenty of sleep. All the right recommend amounts. 


So what wakes my son every 3ish hours at night? No clue, could be teething, could be gas pains, could be this little cold he's got, could be too hot, too cold. It could be that he sleeps on his tummy, and rolled over to his back, or vise versa. Could be his paci fell out of his mouth. There's a number of reasons why he wakes. However, it's not so nice for mommy and daddy to have to get up and figure it out, just to get him back to sleep. Mommy tends to not get enough sleep and becomes very grouchy. lol.


SOOOOO, between talking with our Pedi, doing some research, and picking up the newest books on the Ferber Method, we decided to do a "Modified" Cry it out method.


I thought initially you place your child in their crib, and let them cry. I didn't realize what was all involved. You don't just lay your child down, walk away and close the door, leaving them to cry uncontrollably until they pass out. There's a LOT more to it than that. I'm so GLAD that we researched it in great detail, and talked to our Pedi about the safe and best way to sleep train our child.


Our Pedi told us that sometime between 4-6 months of age, habits form. If you do it once, they will expect it again, and again. So our Pedi told us, since Jayden seems to be ahead of his curve, to start sleep training him now, since we have him on a feeding schedule, bed time routine schedule, and a day time play/nap routine. We've also done TONS of research on this as well. To make sure we are starting safe, healthy and developmentally ready habits and expectations. 


I still DO NOT LIKE listening to my child cry for any reason, for any length of time. It breaks my heart every single time.


HOWEVER, tonight we started a Modified Ferber Method of Cry it out. We set the increments to 5 mins between cries. Then we'd go upstairs, sooth him, without picking him up, or talking unnecessarily to him. Pat his back, quietly say shhhhh, give him his paci, turn on his soothing worm, and just wait for about 2-3 mins, until he is calmed down. Once he is, we go back downstairs. We waited another 5 mins did it again. We did this until we went two consecutive rounds of 5 min intervals of no crying. 


Let me tell you it worked! Took checking on him 6 times, for him to be asleep. Now remember the last two times, he wasn't actually crying, but for good measure, in case he was still slightly awake, we wanted to keep it going so he knew we loved him and were still there. He didn't cry the entire time, seemed like his cries came in min rounds of two mins crying, 4ish mins not crying. 


In any case it worked for us.


Tomorrow we will increase it by 3 mins. So it will be every 8 mins we will check on him. WE will increase the time by 3 mins every night, until day 7 or 8. By then he should be able to sooth himself to sleep and go right to sleep once we lay him down.


I don't want to get any slack, on how could we, that we are horrible rotten parents. Because we are not. 


It took great consideration, great lengths in doing everything else, trying other non CIO methods to get him to sleep. Now we didn't do one method one night and another the next night. We stuck with each method for a week. Moved to another method. IF the Modified Ferber Method does not work for us, then we will move onto the next method our Pedi has suggested. 


However, I think we are on the right track. I REALLY did not want to do the Ferber Method, but looks like it works best for Jayden. So, what can we do.


Yes, I've read the entire issue on it causes brain damage. No, what causes brain damage in young developing baby brains, is stress. Crying it out at bed time does not cause stress, at least not enough stress to cause any damage. What causes brain damage is prolonged neglect, abuse, and or trauma. As you all know, Jayden is not being subjected to any sort of neglect, abuse or trauma; even though the drama king throws a fit it you take too long getting his food ready, lol. The best online article I can find, that best represents the truth in the Ferber Method and according to what our Pedi has showed and told us is this one:
http://www.babble.com/baby/health-and-safety/baby-sleep-training-does-cry-it-out-method-harm-kids/


Babycenter.com (search Ferber Method) had a lot of good points about dispelling the myths and revealing the truths of Ferber and the "Ferberlizing" method. Here is one of the many articles I found on that web site: http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc

So before anyone jumps the gun on us, realize we have been dealing diligently with the help of our Pedi on this issue. God, our Pedi must find us annoying, she says she doesn't, that she understands because we are new parents and all, but I can't help to wonder if we call a little too much, or see her a little too much.


Anyways, so hubby and I did a little grocery shopping, and baby shopping tonight. It's amazing how much baby stuff you start to accumulate as your child gets older. Of course that makes sense, they get older they need new things. We bought a small floor china cupboard to sit at the end of the kitchen island (same height as the island), to put Jayden's unopened and un used food, along with his cereals in. We were able to add his plates and bottles in. 


Baby food is on sale right now at Walmart, and the lady said it's expected to go back to normal price at the end of the month, so we stocked up. Why not? For 98 cents you get two tubs of food..... The Gerber stages food. Right now he is still on stage one, supported sitter food. So we bought 40 dollars worth of food, and cereals since they were on sale also. I love organization!!!! And the free space now in the food cupboard/closet in the kitchen. Makes it easier to get to.


I organized it under menus, with his menu/feeding schedule on the inside door. For example, I put this weeks on shelf one, on the left side, next weeks on shelf one in the middle, and the following weeks on shelf on on the right side. I followed that down to shelf three. (Yes I'm nerotic, I have to have list, schedules, etc to keep my life organized. My home is very much organized the same way. For example Tuesday's = mine and Scott's laundry day, Wednesday's= sheets and towels laundry day, and Thursday's = Jayden's Laundry day. At precisely 10 am once Jayden is down for his morning nap after breakfast, I rotate the clean and dirty dishes. At 2pm after Jayden is down for his afternoon nap after lunch I do some cleaning. After Jayden is down for a short nap after dinner, I do my homework, and then again once he's in bed for the night. Same routine, day to day, week to week. Monday nights is bible study with Pastor Sharri, Wednesday nights is bible study with the Church, Friday nights is CR, Church and family on Sunday. Every day at noon Jayden and I take a walk down the canal park. Told ya, I thrive off of a schedule, and some how I passed that onto my son.)


I thrive on a schedule, I like to know what to expect and when to expect it. For spice and flare I like to throw in a little spontinuity(sp) on occasion. I leave the early after noons for appointments and errands, if I can, sometimes they have to be done early. I've noticed that when I keep Jayden to a schedule, he is less fussy and a MUCH happier baby.


The one thing that is just killing me right now, is the whole sleep training/feeding training issue. It's hard not to just nurse Jayden when he's crying in the middle of the night to get him back to sleep. Between the Pedi helping us and our research we are on a strict no nursing/eating between 10pm when he finishes nursing, to 5am. I just want to nurse him, but I can't. I want him to get good sleeping habits, and good eating habits. I have found out that I understand what the Pedi was talking about, when we deviate and I do nurse him during those times, it throws his entire schedule off, and he's a fussy baby that day. So as hard as it is to get up, stand over his crib, bent over, soothing him by patting his back, it must be done for the greater of the long haul. 


In any case, I'm neglecting homework, I've got a test tomorrow. Thank goodness we don't have errands to run, and all I have is one load of Jayden's laundry and rotating the dishes to do, so I will be spending the day playing with my little boy, and napping when he does. I want to snuggle and nap with him, but I know if I do that will throw him off, since we ONLY co-sleep at his 5am feeding, and his 10pm feeding if he is asleep already, or hasn't woken up.


Go ahead, call me crazy, call my parenting styles nuts, but it works for us. As long as it works we will do it. Just like in the future, if spanking works as a form of deterrence (we want to use it as a form of deterrence, and never with our hand, we plan to use a small ruler: "Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child") before we use it as a consequence, then we will use that if it works. If not, if he's like my sister, and laughs when she got spanked, then we will try the corner, holding a book, or time out. We will go down the list until we find what works for our child, and of course we will ALWAYS consult with Jayden's Pedi before doing something that could possibly harm him in any way. 


So I'm excited to use my babies r us coupons this weekend! I get paid on Friday, so I'm taking my Pay check and buying somethings we need. We need a couple extra 8 ounce bottles, a few more bibs, and other small things. We are looking into upgrading his car seat, since he is fast approaching the too long, and soon too heavy standards for the seat. The current seat he is in, is from his travel system and recommended for children under 30 inches long, and under 25 pounds. Jayden is 27 3/4 inches long and 16 pounds 1  ounce. So, we are thinking we have a month, month and half left in this car seat at best. So SINCE, babies r us has their awesome 25% off sale on used gear, we are thinking about trading in one of our car seats we have now for a new one. (We bought two, one for our truck, and one for my mother's car). Then I get to do some shopping for myself! I need some pants, and shirts, and it's time to rotate the undies and socks, time to buy some new ones to throw out the old ones. I'm also going to buy another nursing bra. I have 3, but, I dislike having to wear them two days in a row, or washing them so much. (I sometimes wash my nursing bras and pads with Jayden's laundry, and again with our laundry so I can keep clean ones.)


Anyways, time to finish homework, and then snuggle up with my hubby. =) Talk to ya'll later.