That's Right, I am a GREAT Mother, more than I can say about you....

A family member just asked me why I cut them and various other persons out of Jayden's, Scott's and my lives. Is it any wonder why I don't want people who have caused drama, lied to me, caused countless and unimaginable harm and pain to me growing up and as an adult in my life, or my small families life? Is it any wonder that I want to protect my son from the trauma's and pains I had to go through, or that Scott had to go through? 


How about the many disappointments? Or empty promises? Or the malicious stories about other family members and attacks on everyone including me?


Really? Is it any wonder why you are not a part of my life? You really screwed up, several of you have. SO why on earth do you get to enjoy my son's life and my life as a married women and mother?


You have NO remorse, you don't take any of the blame, in fact to this day you shove it off to other people. 


Let's clue it in a little bit, YOU ALL are just as much to blame as the next person. BECAUSE of all of you, I nearly lost everything, including my life. So really, ask yourselves, is it any wonder why I chose to live a secluded life with only those who loves us, inspire us, and help us be better spouses, and parents? 


On TOP of it all, you STILL have the audacity to sit there and talk your talk. Seriously, what is wrong with you all?


I'm sorry I have forgiven, but I can not forget, and I WILL NOT subject my innocent child to the same tortures that Scott and I had to endure growing up. He deserves MUCH better. HE deserves a care free life, full of joy and laughter, and learning, and loving. He deserves parents who love him very much to keep him away from as many pains as possible. 


One day, he will ask why so and so wasn't in his life, and I will tell him, because they caused mommy and or daddy great harm and heartaches. He may not understand it, or like it, but one day he will have a child of his own, and then, then he will understand it.


So I would appreciate it, if you quit telling people, I'm screwing up my son, or that he's gonna be a loser in life, or that we can not provide for him.  Because it's not true.


We may have 5 bucks in the account sometimes, but we have more than what money can buy. I read to my child EVERY night. I bathe my child every night. I feed him several times a day. I give him what he needs and wants. I play with him, I care after him, I take him to the doctors when he's sick, I make his pains go away with mommy's love and cuddles. 


I would appreciate it if you quit spreading your vicious lies around, and your negative attitudes. JUST BECAUSE I don't do it YOUR way, DOES NOT Mean I'm any less of a good mother. Heck, I'm a better mother than you could EVER be. 


If my son choses to be a different religion, or none at all, I will pray for him, but I will NOT LOVE him any less. I will still be his mother, standing in his corner, encouraging him for his dreams. Yes, I will teach him about God, and I will do my best to keep him on the lighted path, BUT if he choses to stray I will NOT abandon him. I will not leave him to the wolves to fend for his self. 


If my son makes a poor choice in life, I will still be there for him, supporting him in what ever way I can.


If my son gets himself in trouble, any amount I will still love him, and be there for him.


If my son makes a mistake, I will not turn my back or close my door to him. I am his mother, the ONE person he is suppose to be able to count on for advice, for love, for support, for help, and for anything else he may ever need. I am his mother. I am his super hero, and I always will be no matter what.

Which is a WHOLE of a heck a lot better than ANY of you were for me. 


I do have to thank you for one thing, all of you I have to thank for one thing. You taught me how NOT to be, how NOT to parent. You taught me the be a pillar, a strong, pillar. You taught me how to pick myself up, dust myself off, and pull myself up from the whole again and again. You taught me to have an open and forgiving heart. Yes, you all taught me that, but not by who you are, or how you parent, or any other conventional loving manners, you taught me by the painfully, heart breaking, negative life I had to endure. You taught me this through the tears I silently cried, the lies, the drama. You taught me this by being everything wrong. By hiding me from family members, by subjecting me to neglect, and abuse. You taught me this by making me take care of my sister and brother since I was 3. 


If it weren't for me climbing trees and picking fruits in the back yard, we all would have starved to death. Or sneaking home food from school, or from a friends or neighbors house. We would have starved to death. 


NONE of you have the pleasure to accept that I did well in school, nor that I have degrees, or that I work my tail off. None of you get the joy of me being an EXCELLENT mother and wife. 


None of you played any role in shaping and molding me. You only showed me how NOT to be, how NOT to act, and how NOT to raise my children and love my husband. 


So when you go to ask me again, why I have cut you out of my life, and that of my husband's and child's. Think of this statement, think of this entry. 


You caused damage, that can not be undone. You caused harm, that can not be erased. You caused deep wounds, that took YEARS after child hood to fix, and some are still so deep they may never heal. 


You can not buy a child's love with gifts, and vacations, and words filled of lies and empty promises. 


You get and earn a child's love by loving them, supporting them, helping them learn and grow, and being there when they fall, or make mistakes. THAT's what being a dang good mother is all about. That is what a parent is about. Being the super hero, their entire lives. Being someone they CAN look up to, and emulate as they get older. 


You're children become what they see, who they model after. Sometimes, like me, they know in their heart of hearts, something is not right. A family is not like this. 


Quit blaming me, blame yourself for once. Take responsibility for once. 


Don't pitty me for how I turned out, or talk bad about my life. Because my life is GOOD, it's better than it has ever been. My life is perfect in just about every sense of the word.


Will I fall, yes, Will I pick myself up, yes with the help of my wonderful husband. That's what wives and husbands do. They help each other. They LOVE each other, and they do the same for their children.


I'm a better mother and parent than you can ever be, because I LOVE my child enough to encourage his growth, to help him develop, to research when I can, and what I can to help him, to help us. I do what I NEED to do, to get it done, and I play with my child.


My child is my world. I don't ever recall being any of your guy's worlds. I don't recall the last time any of you ever played with me, supported me, helped me, or been there for me. I don't recall when you did it out of pure love as a parent, grandparent, or any other such role model should have.


So yes, I cut you out, and will cut anyone else out, if they give me any inkling of potential harm to my husband, myself, my child, or any future child. I will cut you out in a heart beat. 


MY SON will have a better childhood, full of childhood memories, and most importantly, he will have a FULL CHILDHOOD. I will not make him grow any faster than he is meant to, I will not make him watch his siblings and care for them at a young age. 


Again, which is more than you all could have ever done.


In any case I'm done. Just remember the next time you go to ask me why I cut you out, remember this entry. Remember the pain you caused me, or Scott. Remember how terrible of a role model you were.